http://www.articleburn.comfree submit original articleen-EN Fri, 05 Dec 2008 11:47:14 GMTCopyright 2007 articleburn.comhttp://www.articleburn.com/articles7628-spiders-big-catch.html Spider's Big Catch (From the book Spider’s Big Catch) Gary E. Anderson www.abciowa.com When I was in college, Spider McGee, Charlie Fox, and I loved to fish off the log boom in the river near my house on summer afternoons. We'd sit and talk about life, drink hot chocolate, and occasionally catch a fish or two. But one day, Spid ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:53:04 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles7660-ltbgtwit-and-wisdom-anecdotes-of-the-teacher-the-late-orhan-seyfi-ariltbgt.htmlSome Anecdotes of the Teacher the late Orhan Seyfi Ari - Teacher O. S. Ari was hailed also for his sharp wit and wisdom " ...He always wore a smile..." (Fedai -Halkin Sesi, 27 Dec. 1992) " ...Ari's voice, full of wit, filled the room..."(Dogrusoz -Kibris, 5 Feb. 1999) (In his newspaper columns [mostly between 1968-1992 in Cypriot 'Halkin Se ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:53:04 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles7681-tale-of-a-bagle-and-the-quototherquot-side-of-the-fence.htmlGreg's pithy quote for the day: The greener the grass, the more shit in the fertilizer. This is my corollary to “The grass is always greener…..” I’ve been doing some deep thinking the past few days in lieu of blogging. It doesn’t take much to get me into what I call “deep thought”. My minds “Hmmmmm” factor can be triggered b ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:53:04 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles6352-france-gives-spielberg-highest-honor.html Noted director now required to urinate in public, spit on Americans. PARIS, France (Mike's Newswire) -- President Jacques Chirac bestowed his Country’s most prestigious title upon U.S. film director Steven Spielberg, making him a knight in the French Legion of Honor on Sunday, hailing him as one o ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:22 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles6375-just-dialogue-2.htmlJust Dialogue 2 By Punkerslut It's all jus' dialogue! The Darwin E-mail Incident I was talking online, bashing Creationists, Catholics, and anyone else who was easily offended by the anatomically correct word for fucking, and a mysterious dilemma unfolded. The first five or so lines actually occured, and inspired m ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:22 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles6526-procrastination-emancipation.html It's early January as I sit down to research and write this newsletter. I launch my web browser, surf over to MSN.com, surprised to find the feature article displaying a picture of Santa Claus with the caption "It's not too late to have your presents arrive on time." Somebody's been procrastinating - e ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:22 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles6876-what-if-everybody-promised-not-to-kill-anybody-for-just-one-day.htmlNow, here's a radical idea. As we see the body count pile up in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Africa, along with the daily occurrences of murder worldwide, including right here in the gun-toting USA, we ask ourselves, wouldn't it be wonderful if everybody would promise not to kill anybody for just one day? Imagine, an entire 24-hours ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:22 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles5168-cracked-up-glossary-of-common-gym-terms.htmlIf you’ve ever had occasion to visit a gym, you’ve no doubt heard people talking about "feeling the burn" and "pumping up." But did you ever wonder what people were really saying? Here are some common terms and phrases that will help you to learn what is really going on in the gym. 1. In The Zone - Tired and incoherent during a work ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:05 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles5333-sitting-in-a-broken-chair-all-day-but-im-learning.htmlYou may wonder what this could possibly have to do with being an entrepreneure as the category states... Well, I am beginning a new chapter in my life and it is all about starting an on-line business. After I had a heart attack in August of this year (2006) I just felt lucky to have survived. It was just my husband and I at home a ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:05 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles5457-going-bonkers-with-baubles-berries-amp-bells.html Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. GOING BONKERS WITH BAUBLES, BERRIES & BELLS --Or, Beware of BlackBerries, Cellphones and Laptops!-- If state-of-the-art "wireless technology" has given birth to such tawdry taskmasters as BlackBerries, cellphones and laptops, the Universe has also seen to it that such man-made devices would co ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:05 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles5462-party-jokes-startling-but-unnecessary.htmlHere, I focus on a range of items and features that we use in life without giving them a second thought such as Coca Cola, body muscles and holding ones own breath. Though, most of these notes are not fundamentally necessary, they are such that you can use them for a good laugh, at a drinks party or for picking up women or men. 1) Coca-Cola: Di ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:05 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles5545-test-your-feline-felicity.html1. The Cat Family, or the family Felidae, includes at least 35 species of cats that are similar in physical characteristics. Which is NOT a member of the Cat Family? A. Kodkod B. Margay C. Ocelot D. Fox D. Fox TBD: Did you know that cats are regarded by many biologists as the most highly developed carnivores? 2. Do you ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:05 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles5841-the-funny-side-of-aging.html What's so funny about growing old? Not a whole lot, according to the wisest man who ever lived. Here's what Solomon said about our "Golden Years:" Honor and enjoy your Creator while you're still young, Before the years take their toll and your vigor wanes, Before your vision dims and the world blurs And the winter years keep you close to ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:38:05 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4226-i-cant-weight-one-mans-diet.html I Can't Weight—One Man's Diet (From the book Spider’s Big Catch) Gary E. Anderson www.abciowa.com Like many people, I've decided I need to take off a little weight from the holidays—the holidays of six years ago. But I've never dieted before, so being a conscientious kinda guy, I logged into my favorite web browser for some ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4342-quotwhy-so-many-bleep-wordsquot.htmlMy family watched a lot of movies over the holidays; at least we tried to. It's about impossible to find good clean entertainment anymore. We did have a TV Guardian to bleep the bad words, but the poor thing was overworked. It bleeped itself into early retirement the other night. Which got me to thinking- ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4406-vegetarian-standup-comedian.htmlVegetarian Stand-Up Comedian By Punkerslut Introduction I absolutely admire the comedy of Bill Hicks. He manages to create something amusing and funny out of many issues. He does this in various ways, including being "raunchy" about the subject. He also talks a great deal about politics. But, he doesn't just talk about them -- ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4578-when-life-gives-you-lemons.htmlCopyright The Quipping Queen 2005. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS... Or, learn how to flog fruit and at least lob the losers! Theolonius McTavish, a lemonade-stand sales rep at the tender age of five, a used car salesman at the testy age of 20, and now a paltry pie-maker just a tad too old to remember the darn recipe! A quick glance at the phrase ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4612-the-school-project-help-is-on-the-way.htmlMy wife and I do too much for our children and the guilt has become so overwhelming, I feel compelled to confess publicly in the hope that someone can guide us out of the dark, twisted labyrinth we disappeared in more than four years ago. The shame of committing countless clandestine acts, relying upon deceit, t ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4635-shameless-santa-sliders.htmlCopyright Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved. -- SHAMELESS SANTA SLIDERS -- Every year the Ho-Ho-Ho-ing chap in the red tunic with the white whiskers gets inundated with some pretty balmy questions. So this year, I asked him if he wouldn't mind responding to twenty-five odd, obscure, and some mi ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles4882-its-september-silly.htmlCopyright The Quipping Queen 2005. IT'S SEPTEMBER SILLY! Or, 30 thrilling things to do this month! Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon September is the 9th month of the year. No one has a clue why they call it "Sept"ember meaning "seventh" in French, instead of "Neuf" m ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:51 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3968-the-reptire.htmlOur neighbors haven't built on their lot yet. I try to keep them informed with an occasional E mail or picture. A snake recently came from their lot to live on ours and terrorize me. Since they appreciate my updates so much, they have "decided to let me keep the snake." Here was my reply: Tina and Dave, I don't want you to worry. Just ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:37:37 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3271-the-story-of-my-dog-and-why-you-should-care.htmlThe Story of My Dog and Why You Should Care It all began when I was 11 years old. That day, my mom was taking us (the kids) to Arnold's Hey and Grain, a food store for animals. As we were approaching the door, something caught my eye: a little dog (4 months old). The puppy was situated in a cage and was lying down on his tubb ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3362-disclaimerdiet-pepsi-does-not-make-you-hip.htmlToday there was a grand opening to the newest Wally World in the area so I figured what the hell and went to see what of course was yet another same old Wal-Mart. Of course since it was the first day there were people giving out free shit like ice cream, energy drink, and even beef jerky.That is freaking awesome man,free beef jerky is like ge ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3408-squirrel-meat-delicious-but-deadly.htmlOne of my favorite movies is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. There is one particularly funny scene in which a squirrel has hitched a ride inside the Griswold house sequestered in the tree Clark has set up. The squirrel is discovered and makes a run for it, causing chaos and panic among the fleeing main charac ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3482-buddhabot-at-your-service.html Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005. BUDDHABOT AT YOUR SERVICE Or, where oh where have my wisdom teeth gone? By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D., a peripatetic professor of pre-recorded pauses, past-life parables and punctuated premonitions, on sabbatical from the Faculty of Divinity & Waterpolo at University of MaxiMegalon to study the origin o ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3483-a-roommate-story-too-strange-to-make-up.htmlSo it's my fifth (and final) year of undrgrad and I am planning on getting my own place; but right before that happens I get an opportunity to rent a house for a total of $750 month, and this includes utilities. Well, no shit, I'm going to go for it. All I have to do is find two roommates. Well I met some dude (we will refer to him ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3597-bad-breath-terminology.html We all know someone who has bad breath. Still, you may not be current on all the slang associated with this unfortunate condition. Not to worry, my friend. I am here to provide you with more than a few descriptive phrases to use when referring to recurring bad breath, also known as halitosis. This is n ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3623-do-you-suffer-from-too-much-gas.html It is well documented that too much gas can be detrimental. Gas can cause severe stomach cramps.Certain gases can be harmful to the enviroment.Other gases can consume oxygen, and basically "smother" you.Particular diets can be related to gas.Heavy gases can even cause back ache, lumbago, shoulder injury, etc.. You can check the follow ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles3674-rocks-oddball-celebrity-news.htmlRock’s Oddball Celebrity News By Rocky Ramsey According to an interview with Madonna on 20/20, she wants to change her name to Esther, because it’s a good Biblical name. Paris Hilton’s infamous Internet video has been released on DVD. It’s called “1 Night in Paris.” Barbra Streisand, that great humanitarian, sued a ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 GMThttp://www.articleburn.com/articles2367-your-drum-poem.html(Waste no time gossiping it doesn’t pay!) Many people are always poking their noses in other people’s affairs for nothing. Play your own drum, No one else, Can play it for you, It’s your drum, And your chose it your self. No one else should, Only you, Know the tunes, Let people Enjoy the tunes By playing ...Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:33:49 GMT