We live in the periphery, and we live only to the extent that society allows us. This freedom we claim so dear is false because of the rules of the games, of the social game, are so deeply fixed that you feel that you are choosing this or choosing that, but in reality you are not choosing. The choice comes from your cultivated mind, and this goes on a mechanical way, we don't even know it is happening!

For instance, you want a divorce because you found this new love, but it is the same thing, deep inside you are running away from yourself, you cannot be alone, you cannot die alone, this fear makes you a slave to another, yes the wife has become boring , but so will the new one!

I learned the story of a man who married 10 times, 10 different women in his life, he married one woman then divorced her, the he remarried again and divorced again and this man made a cautious effort to select a very different woman each time. And the women would be different for a while, then the ended up all the same. With each woman he was thinking this one would be different than the other, but they always turned out the same.

What was happening? What karma was this? The answer is that the chooser was unconscious. He could not change the chooser, and the chooser was always the same so the choice was always going to be the same.

The fact is , you keep on doing this and that, and you go on changing things , you change the car, the business, the mate but you remain the same, unfulfilled. The results are always the same, the outcome identical.

The one way you can get out of this loop is to use self remembering, learn to find the chooser, the real you, you do this by using the self remembering exercise, in this exercise, expect nothing at all, do it with an open heart, enjoy the silence, enjoy the quietness and find the one who is named the real you, that is where the chooser is!

Happiness is not found in cars, in women, in money, it is found within you. If you have the toys, you will always want more toys, the moment you get big toys you want bigger toy, you are never satisfied. So first find yourself and then the spouse, the toys, the money will be even more fulfilling and you will never lose their enjoyment.

You will be happy with or without a partner, money or toys!

So what then?

Whatever you are doing, whatever you want, whatever your goals is, whatever you want from a divorce or staying in a marriage? Ask yourself "so what then"..."if I succeed and then so what?"

Is there a meaning in all of it or is it some artificial meaning given to it all is there some artificial meaning giving by you to create the appearance that you are doing something worthwhile!"

And all this time that you strive to achieve, you are wasting your life and energy , not doing anything worthwhile

There is only one thing that matters: if you can be happy without anything, without any dependence, if you can be happy, blissful alone, totally alone. If nothing is needed for your bliss, only then can you be blissful, otherwise you will be in misery, always in misery

Dependence on anyone is misery and those who depend on accumulation more materiality, more knowledge are in misery, they are helping their misery become more and more.

The next question to ask is if you have any meaning, or whether you are just floating around without any meaning! And you are just making believe that this or that is the meaning of your existence. The meaning of existence is finding your true self- your inner self! There are many people who are making ends meet and their only ambition is to get their kids into college. Some make it and then they die, then their kids come along and say the same thing.

What was the meaning in their lives; did they come here to make ends meet? What are you doing? Are you just passing time? Just destroying life? The cycle repeats indefinitely, each one comes to provide for the son and then dies!

Where is the meaning in that?

If you want to get out of that rut, learn? Take the essential part of that and look at it. Look back at what you have been doing with your life and your energy and your time-the same mistakes, the same foolishness, the same stupidities, again and again Unless you learn something about this vicious cycle, you will never get out of this cycle. About Author :

Rob Maraby is te author of the fast abs program and other get great Divorce Marriage articles, you can read more at http://www.mindnmuscle.com