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" Humor "  |
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| A Chick with a Pick |
| 22 Feb 2008 07:07:04 | Gerry McDonnell |
| I'm unwilling to pigeon hole myself politically, but if forced, I would happily place myself in the 'frustrated feminist' box. If I was around in the early part of the twentieth century I'd have been more than happy to burn bras with the Suffragettes, as it's a literally evil contraption.
The bra-burning remains a point of ... |
| ODD JOBS |
| 22 Feb 2008 05:00:19 | Victoria Elizabeth |
| Copyright (c) Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.
ODD JOBS Or, what to do while "Waiting for
Godot"...
While some may say, "the world is going to Hades in a
handbasket", I say "piffle!"
First, Hades isn't even on my "To Do" list for today or, for
that matter, tomorrow. Second, "handbaskets" are onl ... |
| Fone Booth Frenzy! |
| 22 Feb 2008 04:37:04 | Nancy Cardone |
| How often do you have to go to a phone booth these days? Probably not too often. Well, I found myself needing to make a phone call while on the road and guess what? The unthinkable!....I left my cell phone home!
First of all, it took a while for it to hit me that phone booths still exist! Well they probably don't really, not t ... |
| The Utensils You Need to be a Good Cook |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:56:34 | Vicki Nunn |
| After I sat down at a nearby medical centre, I glanced through a home and gardening magazine, dated unsurprisingly from fifteen years earlier. Being the culinary whiz that I am, I couldn't help but be intrigued by the article entitled 'The utensils you need to be a good cook.'
"Wow!" I thought, "So that's all it takes - jus ... |
| Mouth Wide Open! |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:47 | Jim Henderson |
| With the advent of modern technology, anyone with a computer can
write or speak whatever is on their mind. This word is used
lightly in the case of this writer. We call this, “freedom of
speech”. It’s also constitutionally protected. In case you are
unfamiliar with the constitution, the founding fathers
institute ... |
| IT'S ADDLEPATED APRIL AGAIN! |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:47 | Beatrice Blitterless & Earl Craboon |
| Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
IT’S ADDLEPATED APRIL AGAIN! -- Or, time for feather-brained
folk to have some fun! --
Compiled by Leady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl
Craboon
April is one of those months that most pithy people would rather
forget. After all, it’s the only month that starts off on a
“foolish footing”.
The good ... |
| GET A GRIP - GRANNY'S BACK IN TOWN! |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:47 | Aphrodite Beamish |
| Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
GET A GRIP - GRANNY'S BACK IN TOWN!
-- Or, Go Granny Go! --
According to Webster, (a wicked if not witless wordsmith), a
“granny” is “a fussy person”. Others refer to her as a "Shrew",
a "Sourpuss" or possibly a "Supreme Snit-Face".
Clearly, “granny” ranks right up there t ... |
| Halloween Howler |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:33 | Deanna Mascle |
| 1. What rock star worked as a gravedigger before starting his
musical career?
A. Roy Orbison
B. Billy Joel
C. Mick Jaggar
D. Rod Stewart
1. What famous rock star worked as a gravedigger before
starting his musical career?
D. Rod Stewart
TBD: That wasn't The QuizQueen's guess either, but that's what
the research ... |
| My First Trip to Destin, Florida |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:33 | Tony M. Isaacs |
| Have you ever been to Destin, Florida? I love the white sand beaches, moderate climate and beautiful clear blue ocean there, although it's a much more touristy kind of place than it was about 30 years ago when I first went there with my father, step mother, half-sister, and other family members. I remember that we checked into thi ... |
| Top 10 Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:33 | Peggy Butler |
| Ten Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush
A satirical and humorous look at the man conservatives dub one
of the greatest chief executives to occupy the White House
10. Great Articulation. During his press conferences I’ve yet to
hear the president mispronounce a word or desecrate the English
lang ... |
| The One Great Sermon That Got Away |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:33 | Rev. James L. Snyder |
| Most people don't realize ministers are obligated to prepare and
preach one great sermon in their career. In looking over my
record of sermons, I noticed many "good" sermons, but an obvious
lack in the list of a single "great" sermon.
Perusing my list brought back some marvelous memories. I smiled
as I ... |
| FUN LOOK AT A LADY HANG-GLIDER |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:33 | VJ Gibson |
| Women can be sports widows when husbands take to the tube, but
what’s a man to do when his lady love is a hang-glider? Cyril
May and Jack McDonald explore this question in their playful
tune, Macho Mountain Mama on their CD, "Off The Beaten Track."
‘When warm winds from the valleys
Sweep on up the ... |
| Top 10 Dumbest Things Pro Athletes Do |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:33 | Jason OConnor |
|
There seems to be an endless stream of idiotic things professional athletes do. I guess if you put a bunch of young men together, give them a boat-load of money and lots of free time, what can you expect? When beautiful women, the media and the luxuries of life are thrown at them, their cockiness and stupidity are only amplified. Here are my ... |
| Smiling costs nothing, so why not smile! |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:01 | Stephen Hill |
| I like to be around positive people, people who tend to be
happy, who look on the bright side of life. Far too many people
walk around in what seems like a depressed state. Come on
people, it costs nothing to smile.
I must admit, I used to be one of the ones who walked around in
a depressed state. I had many things on m ... |
| What Are So Many Of History's Most Unlikable People Alive Today? |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:01 | Tom Attea |
| As we review history, we notice an enormous number of unlikable people. The really disturbing fact is that so many of history's truly unlikable people seem to have decided to park themselves within our lifetimes.
We need not name the most unlikable characters of the past. We all have our own list. Even more perplex ... |
| Star Maps |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:01 | Stephen Schochet |
| Since movie stars have moved into the big mansions of Beverly
Hills and Bel-Air, vendors have sold maps of their homes with
varying accuracy. Although most stars resent unwanted intrusions
of fans, many take it with good humor. Sitting in his swimming
pool, Oliver Hardy would welcome fans who climbed over his
fence ... |
| Al Sharpton And Jesse Jackson Repent For Use Of The "W" Word |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:51:01 | Tom Attea |
| Immediately after admonishing Michael Richards, aka Kramer, for his desperate but inexcusable use of the "N" word, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson simultaneously looked up and realized that they are often guilty of the not always innocent use of the "W" word.
"Oh, I am so sorry," Al admitted, "I just got done ca ... |
| A dog's guide to... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:50:19 | Rubin |
| I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna
do about it? Well, if you’re Amber and Terry, you’re going to do
NOTHING about it. Ain’t nobody going to silence the Rubinman,
you know what I’m sayin’? If you’re NOT Amber and Terry, though
(i.e. you’re smart) and you want to know how to g ... |
| Humorous Software? It's Going To Bust Your Chops. |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:50:19 | John Deprice |
| Do you think software is boring? Think again. Software companies
have developed products that change your voice, make funny
pictures and even predict your future. Curious? Read on.
AV Voice Changer (Avnex Ltd)
Browbeaten by bad chaps? Not allowed to play adult games? Want
nobody to recognize your real identity? Now wit ... |
| April Fool's Day |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:50:19 | Birmingham UK Com |
| April Fool’s Day originates from Germany. It is believed to be
the brain child of Gabriel Hoffman who lived in Damstadt during
the 1860’s. The day is celebrated in many countries with the
execution of elaborate practical jokes on unsuspecting victims.
April 1st is the accepted date for April Fool’s Day when both
simple and ... |
| Blogging To The Bank 2.0... Its Back! |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:50:19 | sevil ince |
| You Can Follow Along Step-By-Step And Legally Steal My Most Secret Blueprint For Making Up To $34,244 Every Month From Long Term Blogs
I've spent the last month brain dumping everything I do on to paper. I've then put this in to a no fluff... just killer step-by-step techniques that can take anyone from zero to thousa ... |
| Well, I Used to Have a Savings Account |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:50:19 | Christian Farmer |
| My friend and I were on a road trip - heading from St. Louis (my hometown) to Provo, Utah (where I go to college). I'm an aggressive, non-speed-limit abiding road trip taker. I felt like I was invincible and could never get pulled over.
And why not? I'm a man with famous immigrant ancestors - people who crossed the plains. I had all the proof I n ... |
| Cashing in on Man Made Global Warming by Using Offsets |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:49:06 | John DeJong |
| Some celebrity singer was recently quoted as saying that in order to save more trees we ought to limit ourselves with just one sheet of toilet paper for every visit to the bathroom. That is with the lone exception being up to three sheets for those really messy deals. Bear in mind that she is now claiming to have been joking at that time. Was it ... |
| Strange Encounters With Hollywood Legends |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:49:06 | Stephen Schochet |
| Meeting famous people is often a surreal experience for both
parties. In 1956 when Elvis Presley arrived in Hollywood he and
his entourage stayed at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. One day
he got into the elevator. "What floor?" asked the operator.
"Tenth please." The operator looked at him with disdain. "You
can't go up to the tenth floor. Elvis ... |
| What's With The Automated Checkouts? |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:49:06 | Call me Queenie |
| It’s 5:30 Friday evening. I’ve just put in a full 8 hours at
work, commuted for another hour, the home frig is all but empty
and I still have to make dinner for my family. So I dash into my
familiar home town supermarket, who at this point shall remain
nameless – but the name does starts with A - thinking I’d
quickly ... |
| CALLING ALL DORKS & DINGBATS! |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:49:06 | Theolonius McTavish |
| Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
CALLING ALL DORKS & DINGBATS!
Or, where do all those daffy ding-a-lings from Canada call home
anyway?
By Theolonius McTavish, a wayfaring wanderer in a very
strange land full of blessedly big bugs, breathtakingly
beautiful banshees, and more than a few bizarre blockheads
Canada is a country of extremes in terms ... |
| Who Invented the Airplane? |
| 22 Feb 2008 03:49:06 | Skyler McCloud |
| Stephen Wright and his brother Lefty invented the first airplane in Kitty Litter, Wisconsin. The airplane was not a quick-and-dirty invention, as you can imagine, taking thousands of hours of development time and budget overruns. From an early age, Stephen made little jokes with a straight face and annoyed Lefty. Becaus ... |
| The Ley Lines of a Semi-Retired Drainage System |
| 22 Feb 2008 09:42:18 | Pem Charnley |
| There seems to be at times, a fine line between enthusiasm and
frenzied delight, and with Miranda Krestovnikoff, who presents
BBC 2’s Hidden Treasure, that line is all too frequently blurred.
Still, perhaps I’m being a little too hard on the poor girl.
After all, it’s her enthusiasm that caused me to go out the
other day and buy a metal detect ... |
| Democrats Suspect Wind-Up Replica Of Bush In White House |
| 22 Feb 2008 07:06:16 | Tom Attea |
| Democrats, having noticed that, no matter what they propose, President Bush does not alter what he says or does. They have also noticed that no matter how the American public votes, his behavior remains unaltered. They now think they have solved the riddle. George Bush has been replaced by a wind-up replica ... |
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