"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." -- James Thurber

"Like a fish suddenly made aware that it is swimming in water, I found every aspect of my perception changed." Author Unknown

How many of us live in a state of real awareness? Most of us are aware of outward feelings. We to often go about our lives never going much deeper than what we see and feel on the surface. We are aware that we feel anger at someone or something, or that we have a worry or fear of some coming event or circumstance. But how many of us live in the awareness and understanding of where that anger, worry or fear really comes from. How many of us really go deep enough to be present enough and in touch enough with our emotions to understand what makes us act and react the way that we do?

Websters Dictionary defines awareness as: on ones guard, vigilant, knowing or realizing, conscious or informed. To be aware implies having a knowledge of something through alertness in observing or in interpreting what one sees, hears, feels, etc. Consciousness implies awareness of a sensation, feeling, fact or condition etc. and recognition or focusing of attention on

To be consciously aware of what is really causing us to act and react the way we do takes a willingness to explore the inner self and discover the inner beliefs that are causing us to feel and act the way we do in a present situation. It takes a willingness to be “aware” on a deeper level.

For years, I have struggled with finances and feelings of lack. I felt I was a victim of outside circumstances. In my business endeavors I would progress well, then something would happen, something seemingly beyond my control. As I began going deeper on a quest to discover who I really was, I learned that I was sabotaging my own financial success and prosperity. I sat in meditation one morning asking why. When I had need of things and especially if I had a desire why was there that catch in my heart that just couldn’t believe it would be provided or that I had what it takes to succeed beyond the ordinary. Suddenly a picture appeared in my mind of me at 2 1/2 when my mother died. It was sudden and unexpected, a blood clot to her heart. When it happened, I was kept separated from the procedures, the grieving, the funeral, and life with my father for some time afterward. I was sent to my grandparents while my father sorted through his life. I realized I had formed a belief that I didn’t matter or my father wouldn’t have sent me away to my grandparents when I need him. These beliefs of course were not true, but with my limited experience of life and knowledge, I came to believe them.

Without even realizing it I had formed a belief that I was not worthy of the best, worthy to have what I really wanted because I wasn’t important or my dad would have wanted me with him. When I returned home 3 months later from my grandparents, my dad had a new wife with grown children who had children my age. I felt I had been replaced and I felt like an outside. This was my perception as they did not treat me like an outside. My Father never was emotionally available to me as I grew up and died a few years ago without us ever having been close. I formed a belief that my needs were not important or he would have wanted to have a meaningful relationship with me. I know now it was his perception of life and himself that kept him from a relationship with me, it was not really about me. To add to my mis-beliefs, I formed the belief that no one could be trusted. My stepmother was demanding, at times critical, manipulative and guilt producing. I formed the beliefs that I was not important, that love had to be earned and was conditional , and that it was assumed that I would do the wrong thing. Because my parents, were not able to accept me for who I was because of who they wanted and needed me to be, It re-enforced my earlier false belief of not being important or good enough. None of this was intentional on behalf of my parent, for they were doing the best they could with the beliefs they had formed as children about themselves and life just as I had done. We form false beliefs about ourselves as children we carry them into our adult life. Once I made the connection to these beliefs, and realized they were a “created” reality and not truth, my financial picture began to change. My business shot forward with new energy and creativity. In fact my vision and dreams took on new dimension and solidity. I realized my dreams were possible, and that it was OK to dream big.

One must go within and uncover these false beliefs in order to be set us free from a limiting belief system that will only hold us back. Inside each of us it unlimited creativity, beauty and capacity for living a rich full life in love, peace and joy. “The only way out is through” Robert Frost

Sheri Bardo / Life Coach www.authenticallyu.com

MOVING FORWARD

"A person only begins to become the person he wants to be when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life." ----------------------------------------------------------------

I had to look up the meaning of the word revile because I've never seen it used. It means to condemn, despise, berate. I didn't have to look up the meaning of the word whine - in fact I'm sure some of my friends have sometimes wanted to ask me if I "wanted some cheese with that whine?"

When we whine and revile we give power to that which we revile and whine about. We cease to be in charge of our life. I love the way that Wayne Dyer describes it in "You'll See It When You Believe It." He says, "I no longer view the world in terms of unfortunate accidents or misfortunes. I know in my being that I influence it all, and now find myself considering why I created a situation, rather than saying, "why me?" This heightened awareness directs me to look inside of myself for answers. I take responsibility for all of it, and the interesting puzzle becomes a fascinating challenge when I decide to influence areas of my life in which I previously believed I was not in control. I now feel that I control it all."

One of my favored quotes on this subject is from George Bernard Shaw. "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in the world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

So how do we develop the necessary character to make our circumstances instead of allowing our circumstances to make us? Emmet Fox tells us that "you can build any quality into your mentality by meditating upon that quality every day. If you seem to yourself to be lacking in certain necessary qualities, if your character seems to lack strength, ask God to give you what you need - and He will. When we get in touch with our Authentic or True Self, we will find we already posses everything we need to be everything we aspire to be.

And that's worth thinking about.

In Postscript to this we have a saying out west "COWBOY (or COWGIRL) UP" For me that means, "get over it and get on with your life! Its time to move into our true Purpose and leave the past behind.

Sheri Bardo / Life Coach www.authenticallyu.com < SELF ESTEEM

Self Esteem, how does one find it, low self esteem, how does one get it?

Esteem: (definition according to Websters Dictionary) to value, appraise, estimate, to have great regard for; value highly; favorable opinion, high regard… To have low self esteem is to not value, or have high regard for yourself. People with low self esteem never feel in charge of their own lives. They often feel like victims. They feel like outsiders, left out, unimportant, etc.. However low self esteem has two faces. One is the personality that seems to always be the underdog, the under achiever, the negative one, the one who says I can’t, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, I have to. The other face is the person who seems very confident, a take charge type of person, very in control, very opinionated, positional, and often in leadership positions. All of this bravado is still a face of low self esteem. This type of person, may exhibit any or all of these traits: when things go wrong, wants to eat other people alive, or is a perfectionist, demanding, and self centered, can’t take criticism, instruction, or direction, is very independent and self sufficient. They may be in leadership positions, and yet not be true leaders. This type of low self esteem will often deny that anything is wrong, because thinking they are in charge is their protection, yet truly being in charge of your life, eliminates anger, irritation, the desire to control others. When a person truly esteems themselves, will take 100% responsibility For their own lives. They let others make decisions for themselves without trying to be in control, and let others be responsible for their actions. Life lived right is a delicate balance, and we all need help maintaining this balance. What is the face of true self esteem? Those with true self esteem are in charge of their lives. They take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in their lives. If relationships are not working in their life, they ask, what is it in me that is attracting this type of person or what am I doing to create this situation, instead of blaming the other person,… if only they would, or could do this or that. If their finances are not what they desire, they ask what can I do to change this and they tap into their creative, intuitive side to do this. They do not waste time saying, there is never enough, if only I had a better job, if only, if only. They set about discovering why this is presently their situation. True self esteem values itself, it says, I can do, I can have, I can make my life what I desire it to be. Think of the Cartoon, Winnie The Poo Eore has no self esteem, he expects things to go wrong and they usually do. Tigger on the other hand, bounces through life, always hopeful, always on an adventure, even when his friends try to pull him in, he just sees the bouncy side of things. He exasperates those who need total order, or control. Tigger is truly, just Tigger. He loves his friends just as they are and even grouchy old rabbit can’t dampen his spirits. I love Tigger, though I certainly have had my Eore moments! If you get a chance, watch the cartoon or read a Poo book. See who you identify with and who irritates you…. This week try and be aware of the times you feel uncomfortable, depressed, discouraged, irritated, frustrated, out of control, or the flip side, very independent, self sufficient, (don’t need any one else, I will do it myself, no one else can do it right), opinionated, critical, positional, and ask yourself, where am I not valuing myself. Start a journal. Keep track, start to be responsible for your life and yourself, find creative intuitive ways to make changes, your inner self knows what it needs. Read a book on self improvement, take a class, find a support group, get a coach!! Get in touch with your true self which is perfect in every way. Your true self esteems who it is because it knows it was created perfect by a perfect creator. It is the false self that finds fault in who it is and lacks self esteem. Finding your Authentic or true self is the only adventure you can’t afford to miss in life.

Sheri Bardo / Life Coach www.authenticallyu.com