18 Feb 2008 04:38:22 | Marsha Maung
There are times when my ideas of raising a child is different
from the elderly and others. To begin with, my baby is not an
easy one. Because we're all different and have contrasting ideas
about raising their own children, we should expect
contradiction...especially if we have to depend on others to
help take care of our children while we're away at work.
Sometimes, others may refer to your child as a BAD BABY just
because your child is not as 'well behaved' as others. But
through the years of parenting, I have begun to question the
following, who's a good baby and who's a bad one ? Is there ever
a bad baby? Are babies capable of being bad? What is bad?
Being a work at home mother, I work when I have to. Even when I
am physically at home, I still HAVE TO work and have
self-imposed working hours. So, I still have to depend on inside
and outside help to take care of my kids until I can be with
them...which is often as soon as I can. But opinions are not
necessarily the same when it comes to childcare.
Take it from me, just learn to relax a little bit more. When
you're a first time parent, admit it, we're really keen on being
a good parent. Anything can send us into unabashed hysteria! I
know I was like that when I was first a mother. The second time
round, I look back and sometimes laugh at myself.
Relax . Take a deep breath and count to ten. If you're not calm
by then, take another deep breath and count to ten again. Still
suffering from frayed nerves? Repeat procedure. The point is
that, it's not too good to spoil the repoire you have with your
baby's daytime caretaker, whether she is your relative, sister,
mother, mother-in-law or a hired help. Besides, maybe bending a
couple of rules here and there is not going to result in a
totally lost and hopeless child.
Find other options . Look, discreetly, for other means of taking
care of your son, some of which may be seeking outside help,
alternating caretaking with mother and mother-in-law...etc.
There are always other ways of finding a reasonably good
caretaker for your baby. For me, I have resorted to hiring a
live-in babysitter who takes care of my children when I am
working.
Talk to other people about your problem . There will be other
people who face the same problem you're facing. Sometimes,
talking about it to another person will simply make it less
significant and put things back into perspective. Especially
when the someone is someone you trust completely. Just remember
to keep an open mind...
Consult other family members . Other people may have a tip or
two up their sleeves on how they survived the ordeal.
Swallow the pill . Take it from me, it is not worth it to argue
with your baby's daycaregivers. Ultimately, the welfare of your
baby is in their hands. You're on the losing end if you piss
them off. It is simply not worth it. Noone and I mean, NOONE
will be able to UNDERSTAND or deal with the problems FOR YOU.
Pick your battles wisely, smile and bear with it. Sometimes,
bearing with it, the other parties (like your day caregivers)
may start to see something in you and things will starting
becoming better. I mean, who knows?
About Author :
Marsha Maung is a work at home graphic designer and writer. She
lives in Selangor, Malaysia with her husband 2 boys, Joshua and
Jared. For more information on Marsha, go to
http://www.marshamaung.com.