For those of you who prefer to do your own copywriting, or are starting out as a copywriter, there are a few basic rules to follow. Well, lots actually. I make no claim to be the originator of most of the rules below, but it's as complete and up-to-date a list as I can make it.

1. Always avoid affected, awkward alliteration

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. *

3. Avoid clichés like the plague - they're old hat.

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

8. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. *

9. Contractions aren't necessary.*

10. Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.

11. If you must use a foreign term, it is de rigour to spell it correctly.

12. One should never generalise.

13. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

14. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

15. Try not to use colloquial stuff.

16. Refrain from being indirect.

17. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

18. It is encumbent on us to avoid archaic expressions. 19. Avoid archaeic spellings too.

20. Understatement is always best.

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Always!

23. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

24. The passive voice should not be used. *

25. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

26. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors -- even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

27. Never insult those morons that make up your readership.

28. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. The writer should not annoy half of his readers by using gender-specific language.

31. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.

32. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.

33. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.

34. Subject and verb always has to agree.

35. Be more or less specific.

36. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.

37. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers. .

38. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before, avoid being repetitive and don't use tautological pleonasms.

39. Don't be redundant.

40. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

41. Don't never use no double negatives.

42. Poofread carefully to see if you any letters or words out.

43. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

44. Eschew obfuscation.

45. No sentence fragments. *

46. Abstraction is to be avoided.

47. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.

48. A writer must not shift your point of view.

49. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!

50. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

51. Puns are only ok if they are current puns.

52. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

53. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

54. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

55. Always pick on the correct idiom. 56. The adverb always follows the verb.

57. "Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"

58. It is recommended that measures should be taken to ensure that the length of sentences is not excessive and that the complexity of said sentences is reduced.

59. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.

60. And always be sure to finish what

Some of these, especially those marked with an asterisk, aren't hard and fast rules.