AMERICAN IDOL REWIND, EPISODE 4 By Robert Griggs

Note: You might ask where is episode three? It will be recapped in the next few weeks, as a scheduling conflict caused me to miss episode three. But another To the Point and Back contributor recorded it for him, so it will be recapped...eventually. I have to get some sleep first!

Episode four opens with Ryan and Brian in downtown Atlanta. Hundreds of hopefuls dream of being the next flash in the pan despite the rain. Simon gives a pep talk. The Pop Idol winner had the fastest selling record there of all time, despite the management's best efforts to make him tank. Simon doesn't mention that last part, but it's well known that he and Pop Idol winner Will Young don't get along. Simon believes the US winner will be even bigger. Considering the US has six times the population of the UK, I would assume the US winner had better be bigger...or else. We start with auditioners Nikki Williams and RJ Helton talking about the whole audition process. Then, RJ auditions. He sings "I Need You" and is good, albeit a bit breathy. Paula and Randy like it, and Simon agrees. Simon thinks this competition is for RJ. He's invited to Hollywood. Oddly, Simon really seemed to like RJ at this point. Those of us who watched the first season will be looking for whatever triggered Simon to sour on him. For now, RJ hugs his friends, and Ryan calls him Richard during an otherwise pointless segment (but what segments involving Ryan and Brian are useful?). Nikki's up next, and she sings "Lean On Me" quite well, although I wonder if she practiced this one song really hard. Simon & Randy felt that her personality shined through in her performing. She's going to Hollywood. She cries happy tears...for now. I missed the next auditioner because of weather issues. I did hear the guy sing, it was good, and he's also on his way to the next round. First three have passed judgment, and Ejay Day will try to make it four for four. He sings "Get Here" and is on key, but I'm just not feeling his voice. Randy asks about inspiration, and Ejay says he didn't hit puberty until he was 13 (uh, duh?), so he takes after the female singers, Whitney and Aretha. Everyone likes Ejay, and he indeed makes it four for four. But Jean Claude Paul Jr and his BAD performance bring the party to a crashing halt. He sounds like he's crying when he's singing, and he never hits the note steady. Awful. His audition leads to a montage of "no". Some guy sings too fast, one guy woos up and down the scale, another girl who warbles all over the place. These people that keep losing the key need to go back to their cars, find it, and drive away. Chris Dos Santos sings in a language that the judges nor I speak, so yeah, he's awful. Paula says he needs singing lessons, and Simon says she's patronizing him. Simon says he will never ever be good enough no matter how many lessons he takes. Pollyanna Paula comes out in full force, as Paula argues with Simon about how people should go for their dreams, and Simon takes the side of the realist, saying that there's no reason to try if you don't have it to begin with. Uh, Paula? Simon has a valid point, so shut up. We go back to Atlanta, where there's lots of joy...and lots of pain. I like the pain, so bring on the pain! And they do, with Tiffany Turner singing "California" through her nose in a rough sounding monotone. She closes her eyes and looks up at the ceiling...obvious sign that over 90 percent of her "training" came from singing in her church choir. Take a look around you the next time you're in a church, and you'll see people all over the place with their eyes closed and their heads raised to the ceiling. Then when you watch these shows, look for those performers. You'd be surprised how much that translates to the Idol audition stage. Meanwhile, Simon tells Tiffany that it's terrible and this is not for her. She says that's alright, as she's going in the tattoo business. The judges wish her luck with her new career choice. Rodesia Eaves sings a song by Tweet titled "Complaint" that I've never heard before, and don't want to hear again. Her voice is OK, but there's too much warbling around the notes. Paula says no. Simon says she sounds old--too old--but that she's not like anyone they've seen so far. Simon & Randy put her through and she flips out. Seems that her car got totaled by a semi, but that doesn't matter anymore...she's going to Hollywood! If she can find someone to take her there. Montage of happiness. The last performer (or so the producers make it seem) is Tamyra Gray. She's so excited and so ready and zzzz. Oops, I fell asleep to her talking, because she may indeed be excited and ready, but she sure didn't sound like it. She sings a nice rendition of "Lady Marmalade" for the judges. Simon is totally in lurve with Tamyra's vibe, her X chromosome, and all her feminine qualities. He says she stands for everything they're looking for. Paula likes Tamyra, but can barely speak for something's apparently growing under the table, and it has Paula's undivided attention. Too bad it didn't grow for her, ha ha. She does get out that Tamyra's a bright little star. Simon then says she goes beyond X and has the Zed factor. Uh, Simon? Ever hear of the term wanker? You will now...take a cold shower and get over it, wanker. Tamyra's headed to Hollywood, and is one of fifteen people to move onto the next round of auditions. Next, it's Seattle. Ryan & Brian give one of the most useless monologues ever, so moving right along, we have cold hopefuls full of energy. They dance and famewhore just to keep warm. Michael is here to simply meet his Idol--Paula Abdul. How sad. He sings "Amazing Grace" and sounds like Kermit the Frog, except that, like so many others, Michael can't find that key either. Paula and Randy laugh at him. How nice, you sing before your Idol, and she laughs at you. Seriously, she's no nicer than Simon...she just tries to play off that she is. He's not going to Hollywood, but he doesn't care. He just wanted to meet Paula. To her credit, she awkwardly hugs him and signs his number tag. Ah, innocent times. Chris Perez hitchhiked to Seattle not to sing, but to mumble and half-speak "Crazy." Simon brings out the "appaling" card, so Chris can hitchhike back home. Montage of rejection. People off-key, and one girl showing off some of that Tameeka inspired colorful language. One young man flatly doesn't agree, and son, they don't care. Get out. Next is Johnny Ray, who feels that he can rearrange songs off the top of his head. He just can't rearrange them into anything that anyone would wanna hear. He strips "Back at One" of all its soul. He hurt that poor song, and should have to answer for it. It's awful, and Johnny is rejected. After commercials, we have a montage of "no" for Seattle. Quincy Fraetis says that she's the best thing out there. No, but she might be the loudest thing out there. She shouts some Jefferson Airplane at the judges, and is moving lots of wind. Hope she took some Tic-Tacs before subjecting the trio to that. Simon says it was painful, and she shouted it all in one note. She's rejected, but the hubris has built in her, so she doesn't care. She's all about the "they'll regret it". Tara McCormick must've just gotten to the audition area, because she missed Quincy's loud audition, and does a loud audition of her own. It's just as painful as Quincy's audition. Tara says she can sing with lights and audience. Simon points to the lights and asks her what are those. Ha ha. Tara's also got the hubris in her, and says they'll be sorry because she'll be bringing the money. She doesn't tell us which street corner she'll be bringing the money from, tho. Levi Blue wants...everything. I see him and I want to take a bath. Ew. He sucks up to the judges, but Simon's in my camp and isn't having it. Levi sings some song he made up and is awful. He wants the judges to make him into what they want him to be. Doesn't he know how awful that sounds? Simon says "this is a pen, not a magic wand". Simon adds that Levi has no talent. No to Hollywood. Now, Levi thinks that Simon is a jerk. Funny how hubris can change things at the blink of an eye. JP Perez is next, and he sings fair. He's not awful, but I wouldn't pass him. Something's off. Randy agrees with me. Simon and Paula don't and he's coming to Hollywood. He's the first person from Seattle that's in. Trinity Manning and her dad's picture stroll in. She sings "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" in a key that's too high for her. If she had brought it down half a step, she would've been great. But it's still okay, and Simon & Paula bring up potential. They think Trinity has a ton of it. Simon says she needs coaching, and Paula says she needs to work on her confidence (remember that statement for later). They invite her to Hollywood, and she starts to cry. Simon asks about the picture and she tells them it's of her late father, who's her inspiration. She then loses it cries softly as she walks out and down to Ryan & Brian. More people pass, but based on what little I heard, most of those people will be fodder for the real singers. Brittney Dallstrom sings the hell out of "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". Too bad about the miserable song choice. Simon loves everything about her except that she looks petrified up there. Paula thought she was wonderful, and Simon thinks she's a good singer, but she doesn't know how to perform. They invite her to Hollywood but Simon warns "that was not a performance" and tells her she'll need to work very hard. A rocky start leads to a profitable afternoon in Seattle. Tanesha Ross wants this because she wants to perform full time. She sings "I'm Every Woman" and starts out rough, but reigns it in and does fairly well. Paula liked it. Simon gives this big spiel about the song being tough, then says she pulled it off. She's invited to Hollywood. The last person to audition in Seattle is AJ Gil. He wants this to be able to help his mom, because she's done so much for him. He break dances for the judges, and is pretty good. He then sings the National Anthem extremely well. My only problem with that is that he probably sings it at sporting events for local teams, and has that song nailed. I would've had him sing something else. But the judges don't, and Randy gives him a standing ovation. Simon says it was fabulous. Paula says ditto. No, she literally just says ditto. He's unanimously going to Hollywood. He starts crying and shakes the judges hands. Paula says he gave her goosebumps. Randy says he might win the competition. He's one of 11 that get in from Seattle. And that'll do it for the fourth episode! I'm not going to recap the non-terviews they've tacked onto the end of the shows, because there has been absolutely NO content in them so far. If someone goes against the grain and says something shocking, I will cover it. But since these kids are undoubtedly getting paid to do these interviews, I expect them to say only what the producers want them to say. We'll catch you next time!

Author Robert Griggs is an avid follower of American Idol. From the show's first episode, and to the present, Griggs has dedicated much of his time in following this show. Mr. Griggs currently writes for the commentary website: http://www.tothepointandback.com. If you would like to check out more of his works, feel free to do so.