18 Feb 2008 03:54:28 | Lynn Cutts
Just like a disorganized closet crammed to the gills with
sporting goods, prom dresses, old furniture, and who knows what
else, our psyches are crammed with old tapes, worries and
anxieties, negative voices. We're more tuned in to the messages
from our past and our negative self talk than we are to our real
selves. Heck, we can't even find our authentic selves in all the
mess.
Meanwhile, our days are crammed with too many commitments, a
lack of clear goals and priorities, uncompleted projects. We
spend each day running as hard as we can just to stay in place.
Nothing ever feels done.
Sound familiar? Well, you're not alone. Millions of people are
in the same boat.
OLD TAPES. We carry a lot of old emotional baggage around with
us. It's as if we have a constant film loop running in our heads
that replays everything that ever went wrong in the past (but
omits all the good stuff). That spat we had with our college
roommate, the guilt from a careless comment we made to a friend,
the hurt from not having a date for the Senior Prom. things like
this clutter up our thoughts and distract us from more immediate
and important issues.
WORRIES: Another source of mental and emotional clutter is
worry, plain and simple. We lie awake at night, what if-ing
ourselves into a tizzy. We construct dire and improbable
possibilities, then treat them as if they were real. We create
scenarios which paralyze us with fear. When we worry, we are
projecting ourselves into the unknown future, instead of taking
care of business in the here and now.
GREMLINS: Let's not forget all those little voices in our heads.
Call them Gremlins or call them negative self-talk, those
negative messages we send ourselves repeatedly clutter our
self-confidence, our will to go on, our courage to change. Those
voices are the ones that tell us we can't, we shouldn't, we're
not smart enough, hard working enough, brave enough. They
clutter our lives as surely as those piles of paper hiding our
desk tops from view.
COMMITMENTS: We also contribute to this unnecessary mental
confusion with our attempts to have it all and have it all right
now! Our To Do lists are so full that there is no way we'll get
to a tenth of all those tasks. We've cluttered our schedules
with so many events, we don't really care about that there's no
time left for the things that really matter, such as ourselves,
our loved ones, or chocolate.
NO CLEAR GOALS: Our plans are just as cluttered. We're too busy
to set clear goals and determine priorities. We put stuff off
because we are so busy, until suddenly it's been put off so long
that it's become an emergency. We waste our energy putting out
fires instead of preventing them. We don't know where we're
going, or why, because we don't have the time to stop and figure
it out.
UNFINISHED PROJECTS: We have too many things going at once to
see any of them through to completion. We leapfrog from one
project to another. We start in on one thing and work on it
until something else comes along. So we drop the first one and
start the second, only to drop that one when yet another one
seems more interesting. Soon our uncompleted projects clutter
our minds and our storage space. So what's a person to do?
BE AWARE: The first step in dealing with anything is simply to
become aware of the problem. Start paying attention to the
mental and emotional clutter that fills your head. Tune into
your self-talk, your old tapes, your worries. The more you
notice them, the easier it is to change them - or just get rid
of them.
LIVE IN THE NOW: Look at those negative emotions and old tapes
you're carrying around from the past, and let them go. That was
then, and this is now. You have grown, and the times and
situations are different. And notice what you're worrying about.
How likely is that to happen - really? Instead of wasting your
time and energy worrying about the future, start planning for
it. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
IGNORE: Those little voices in your head (Gremlins) are going to
be with you the rest of your life. If you engage in an argument
with them, you will usually lose. Instead notice them, then
simply ignore what they are saying. Banish them to another room.
Take a walk to clear your head and focus on now.
SET GOALS: If you have well thought out, clearly written goals
for your week/year/life, you'll have a much easier time knowing
what to do each day. You'll stay focused and on purpose. It will
also be easier to . . .
CHOOSE: Start to make conscious choices about what you put on
that To Do list, about the projects you start, the commitments
you make. Learn to say "No," not just to others, but also to
yourself. If you're not passionate about something, or if it
won't serve your goals and your purpose, don't let it in your
life.
ELIMINATE: Finally, what can you let go of? What are you
doing/thinking/feeling that isn't serving you? Pare your life
and your commitments down to manageable levels. I'm not
suggesting you quit your job, get a divorce, and move to Tahiti.
But do you really need to be on two committees, the HOA board,
and the softball team? Do you really need to volunteer for
overtime at work? The world won't stop if you let a few things
slide.
If you follow those six life changing steps, you'll eliminate
85% of the internal clutter in your life. (A life without some
clutter simply isn't possible. We're human.) You'll be more
focused and less hurried, more confident and less worried.
You'll have more time and energy. Just imagine how great your
life will be then!
NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic
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unaltered (including the "about the author" info). If use of
this article is desired in print, you must first contact Lynn
Cutts at Lynn@ManageYourMuse.com.
Copyright 2005 Lynn Cutts
About Author :
Chocolate-loving Life Coach Lynn Cutts’ mission is to change the
world for the better, one person at a time. At
www.ManageYourMuse.com, she shares free tips, articles, games
and newsletters to help you realize your dreams. Lynn offers
one-on-one coaching, group coaching and self-guided programs to
help you create your own boundless life. Lynn is certified by
the Coaches Training Institute, and is a member of the
International Coaches Federation.