14 Mar 2008 02:22:53 | Sam Vaknin
Narcissists invariably react with narcissistic rage to
narcissistic injury.
These two terms bear clarification:
Narcissistic injury
Any threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist's grandiose and
fantastic self-perception (False Self) as perfect, omnipotent,
omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition,
regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof).
The narcissist actively solicits narcissistic supply -
adulation, compliments, admiration, subservience, attention,
being feared - from others in order to sustain his fragile and
dysfunctional ego. Thus, he constantly courts possible
rejection, criticism, disagreement, and even mockery.
The narcissist is, therefore, dependent on other people. He is
aware of the risks associated with such all-pervasive and
essential dependence. He resents his weakness and dreads
possible disruptions in the flow of his drug - narcissistic
supply. He is caught between the rock of his habit and the hard
place of his frustration. No wonder he is prone to raging,
lashing and acting out, and to pathological, all-consuming envy
(all expressions of pent-up aggression).
The narcissist is constantly on the lookout for slights. He is
hypervigilant. He perceives every disagreement as criticism and
every critical remark as complete and humiliating rejection –
nothing short of a threat. Gradually, his mind turns into a
chaotic battlefield of paranoia and ideas of reference.
Most narcissists react defensively. They become conspicuously
indignant, aggressive, and cold. They detach emotionally for
fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury. They devalue the
person who made the disparaging remark, the critical comment,
the unflattering observation, the innocuous joke at the
narcissist's expense.
By holding the critic in contempt, by diminishing the stature of
the discordant conversant – the narcissist minimises the impact
of the disagreement or criticism on himself. This is a defence
mechanism known as cognitive dissonance.
Narcissistic Rage
Narcissists can be imperturbable, resilient to stress, and
sangfroid. Narcissistic rage is not a reaction to stress - it is
a reaction to a perceived slight, insult, criticism, or
disagreement (in other words, to narcissistic injury). It is
intense and disproportional to the "offence". Raging narcissists
usually perceive their reaction to have been triggered by an
intentional provocation with a hostile purpose. Their targets,
on the other hand, invariably regard raging narcissists as
incoherent, unjust, and arbitrary.
Narcissistic rage should not be confused with anger, though they
have many things in common.
It is not clear whether action diminishes anger or anger is used
up in action - but anger in healthy persons is diminished
through action and expression. It is an aversive, unpleasant
emotion. It is intended to generate action in order to reduce
frustration. Anger is coupled with physiological arousal.
Another enigma is:
Do we become angry because we say that we are angry, thus
identifying the anger and capturing it – or do we say that we
are angry because we are angry to begin with?
Anger is provoked by adverse treatment, deliberately or
unintentionally inflicted. Such treatment must violate either
prevailing conventions regarding social interactions or some
otherwise a deeply ingrained sense of what is fair and what is
just. The judgment of fairness or justice is a cognitive
function impaired in the narcissist.
Anger is induced by numerous factors. It is almost a universal
reaction. Any threat to one's welfare (physical, emotional,
social, financial, or mental) is met with anger. So are threats
to one's affiliates, nearest, dearest, nation, favourite
football club, pet and so on. The territory of anger includes
not only the angry person himself, but also his real and
perceived environment and social milieu.
Threats are not the only situations to incite anger. Anger is
also the reaction to injustice (perceived or real), to
disagreements, and to inconvenience (discomfort) caused by
dysfunction.
Still, all manner of angry people - narcissists or not - suffer
from a cognitive deficit and are worried and anxious. They are
unable to conceptualize, to design effective strategies, and to
execute them. They dedicate all their attention to the here and
now and ignore the future consequences of their actions. Recent
events are judged more relevant and weighted more heavily than
any earlier ones. Anger impairs cognition, including the proper
perception of time and space.
In all people, narcissists and normal, anger is associated with
a suspension of empathy. Irritated people cannot empathise.
Actually, "counter-empathy" develops in a state of aggravated
anger. The faculties of judgment and risk evaluation are also
altered by anger. Later provocative acts are judged to be more
serious than earlier ones – just by "virtue" of their
chronological position.
Yet, normal anger results in taking some action regarding the
source of frustration (or, at the very least, the planning or
contemplation of such action). In contrast, pathological rage is
mostly directed at oneself, displaced, or even lacks a target
altogether.
Narcissists often vent their anger at "insignificant" people.
They yell at a waitress, berate a taxi driver, or publicly chide
an underling. Alternatively, they sulk, feel anhedonic or
pathologically bored, drink, or do drugs – all forms of
self-directed aggression.
From time to time, no longer able to pretend and to suppress
their rage, they have it out with the real source of their
anger. Then they lose all vestiges of self-control and rave like
lunatics. They shout incoherently, make absurd accusations,
distort facts, and air long-suppressed grievances, allegations
and suspicions.
These episodes are followed by periods of saccharine
sentimentality and excessive flattering and submissiveness
towards the victim of the latest rage attack. Driven by the
mortal fear of being abandoned or ignored, the narcissist
repulsively debases and demeans himself.
Most narcissists are prone to be angry. Their anger is always
sudden, raging, frightening and without an apparent provocation
by an outside agent. It would seem that narcissists are in a
CONSTANT state of rage, which is effectively controlled most of
the time. It manifests itself only when the narcissist's
defenses are down, incapacitated, or adversely affected by
circumstances, inner or external.
Pathological anger is neither coherent, not externally induced.
It emanates from the inside and it is diffuse, directed at the
"world" and at "injustice" in general. The narcissist is capable
of identifying the IMMEDIATE cause of his fury. Still, upon
closer scrutiny, the cause is likely to be found lacking and the
anger excessive, disproportionate, and incoherent.
It might be more accurate to say that the narcissist is
expressing (and experiencing) TWO layers of anger,
simultaneously and always. The first layer, of superficial ire,
is indeed directed at an identified target, the alleged cause of
the eruption. The second layer, however, incorporates the
narcissist's self-aimed wrath.
Narcissistic rage has two forms: I. Explosive - The narcissist
flares up, attacks everyone in his immediate vicinity, causes
damage to objects or people, and is verbally and psychologically
abusive. II. Pernicious or Passive-Aggressive (P/A) - the
narcissist sulks, gives the silent treatment, and is plotting
how to punish the transgressor and put her in her proper place.
These narcissists are vindictive and often become stalkers. They
harass and haunt the objects of their frustration. They sabotage
and damage the work and possessions of people whom they regard
to be the sources of their mounting wrath.
About Author :
Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain -
How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Central
Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb , and Bellaonline, and
as a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business
Correspondent. He is the the editor of mental health and Central
East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.