18 Feb 2008 04:33:57 | Marie Magdala Roker
5 Secrets Your Guy Doesn’t Want You to Know
1.He Only Pretends Not to Listen.
He heard what you said. He’s just not interested in hearing it
at the moment. Don’t try to give your man instructions or talk
about your feelings when he’s watching TV (especially sports),
eating, reading, or has just come home from work. He will only
be half listening. His mind is on other things like: will his
team win, his day at work, how hungry he is, etc. He can only
pay attention to one thing at a time. If he lets you think that
he is giving you his full attention, and then you will want to
talk to him at these inappropriate moments all the time. If he
gives you a detailed response, you’ll just continue to talk. If
he completely ignores you, you’ll get mad. If he pretends that
he is listening, you will be content and walk away.
2.He Does Look at Other Women.
Not because he wants to cheat, but because men are visually
stimulated. Getting mad at him for looking is just going to make
him sneak a peek. Hey, it’s just a passing glance. It’s not like
we don’t check guys out too!
3.He Needs Time Away From You.
Men need time to reflect, socialize and just get away from it
all. Men like the time to regroup. It doesn’t mean that they
don’t want to be with us, it is just an escape to appreciate
what they have at home. So lighten up, while he’s out of the
house, take the kids out or get a babysitter and go something
you enjoy.
4.He Doesn’t Feel Like Being Bothered Sometimes
You’ve probably asked him to do something several times, but yet
he still doesn’t do it in a timely manner. In frustration, you
do it yourself. What is he thinking, “Thank Goodness!” Men do
things at their own pace. You can ask your man to take out the
trash and 3 hours later, it’s still there. Technically, he still
has time to take out the trash. In his mind, the trash isn’t
going anywhere anytime soon, and if you do it yourself, that
just makes it better for him.
5.He Really Enjoys Gossip
If your man overhears you gossiping on the phone, he’ll probably
shake his head in disapproval. However, if he talks about Joe
and Margaret, his co workers who are having an affair, it’s not
gossip. Actually men enjoy to gossip. They just have a different
name for it “Commenting.”
6.Yes, He Was Thinking About Sex
Your man has a far away look in his eyes. He seems distant. He
was thinking about sex. He can’t help it, he thinks about it
several times a day. Wouldn’t you prefer that he thinks about it
several times a day rather than having sex several times a day?
7.When His Voice Goes High, or He Answers a Question With the
Same Question, He’s Thinking of a Lie.
If you ask your man, “What You’d Do Today?’ and he replies “What
I’d Do Today?” he’s probably thinking of lie. It doesn’t mean
that he did something inappropriate, just something you wouldn’t
approve of. Maybe, he left work early to hang out with the guys.
If he told you this, you’d be upset because you had a long day
at work or at home with the kids. The problem is he was having
too much fun to think about if you would ask him that question,
so he didn’t plan a lie beforehand.
8.Nothing is Wrong, So Stop Asking Him
Admit it, you see your man sitting quietly and you naturally
assume something is wrong or has happened. So you ask, “What’s
wrong?” and he replies, “Nothing, I’m just thinking.” Well, this
answer doesn’t satisfy you, so you ask again throughout the day,
which leads to his frustration. Men reflect too! He was probably
thinking about how he wants to change careers, if you are
satisfied and happy with him, how he can make more money, how he
doesn’t want to grow old and fat, or how he would really like to
buy that sports car. Ask him once, and then leave it alone. If
you really sense something is wrong, give him some time and talk
to him when you both feel like talking.
9.Most Men are Conquerors and Most Women are Venters
You just told him about your horrible experience at work. You
want him to comfort and console you; instead he gives you
logical facts about how to solve the problem. You feel cheated.
You wanted to share your feelings about the day and all he
wanted to do was fix the problem. Men like to offer solutions.
Most men are not concerned about being in touch with their
feelings when there’s a conflict. You want to feel understood;
he wants to make the problem go away. He can’t relate to how you
are feeling, so he does what he knows best, helps you to plan a
solution.
10.He Wants to Feel Successful. A man needs to feel he has
accomplished something in life, and often times that
accomplishment is found in their jobs or careers. Men don’t like
to feel conflicted between work and quality time with their
families. To men, if they are working hard to earn money, this
will improve the quality of their family’s life.
About Author :
Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development
Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works
with parents to help them unlock and nurture the personal and
academic potential in their children and motivate their children
to success. You can find her on the web at
http://www.smartbeecoaching.com or
http://www.successfulchild.com