Dear Jen,

I have been dating a man I met online for just over a month now. When we first met, he told me that he doesn’t drink alcohol, and that is one of the things I liked about him after having been raised by an alcoholic father. The other night, when he came to pick me up for our date, I was sure I smelled alcohol on his breath. What should I do?

Signed, Swimming in Gin

Dear Swimming in Gin,

I have to say first of all, that you need to be up front with him about this. Tell him about your concerns with alcohol and how it has effected you in the past. Remembering that you can’t change him is very important here. What you can do is change yourself and your choices. If he is going to choose to continue to drink and that is not something you can live with, it is maybe time to consider letting the relationship go before it gets even harder. One thing that I do want you to think about is whether or not he was lying in the first place. Maybe he was, or maybe he just went out that night and had an off-character moment and had a drink. Either way, be up front and honest with him and yourself. Your safety and sanity come first.

Good luck to you on your quest for love.