14 Mar 2008 02:11:36 | Caterina Rando
You know what it’s like—you spend an afternoon distracted about
the presentation you have tomorrow morning, or you spend the
evening preoccupied about the upcoming airline flight, or you
spend the drive home anxiously wondering if you left the garage
door open when you left this morning. Worry can be paralyzing—it
fills our life with unnecessary pressure. Worry is fear about
something that does not even exist. If you stop to think about
it, worry is ridiculous.
Worrying is an emotional malady so prevalent among our species
that we rarely recognize it and almost never talk about it.
Worry contaminates our thoughts, our sense of well-being, and
even our ability to take action.
Worry is so much a part of our thinking that we do not even
notice when we are doing it. Take a moment and try to remember
what was on your mind today. What thoughts raised your heart
rate and scrunched your brow? Are you worrying about your new
job, your low bank account, who your daughter might be meeting
at college, your long to-do list, or what your neighbors think
of your new boyfriend? Whatever it is, let it go. Worrying is a
waste of time and energy—all it does is stress you out and bring
you down.
You know it would serve you to stop worrying, but trying to do
so can be challenging. For most of us, this concept is a great
idea that is very difficult to implement. Many people seem to
have been born with a worry gene. Instead of trying to eliminate
all worry, begin with a different approach. Wring out and
restrict your worrying:
1. Start with Awareness Start to become more aware of when you
are worrying. By becoming conscious of it, you can begin to
change your behavior. When you notice you are worrying, take a
deep breath and then let it out to relax you a bit.
2. Be Present Now When you become aware that you are worrying,
ask yourself if what you are worrying about is related to today.
For example, if you are worrying about a speech, a business
meeting or a potential promotion, is that something that is
going to happen today? If the answer is no, then you are not
allowed to worry about it.
3. Take Action If what you’re worrying about is something that
is happening today, then reframe your worry thoughts into
planning thoughts. Instead of worried thinking like "I hope my
pasta primavera will taste good tonight," reframe that into a
planning thought: "Is there anything I can do to improve my
pasta primavera?" If the answer is yes, do it. If you have
already done everything there is to do, then there is nothing to
worry about.
4. Plan When you find yourself worrying about ongoing issues
like a recurring health challenge, financial difficulty or
difficult relationship, make a pact with yourself to stop
worrying and engage in some planning time. By asking yourself
powerful questions instead of staying stuck in the worrying rut,
you can improve your situation. Then, of course, follow up your
planning with consistent action.
5. Ask Powerful Questions The powerful questions you might ask
yourself are "What would it take for me to stop worrying about
this?"; "Is there a different choice I can make that will
provide me with more well-being?"; or "Is there something I can
say or do right now so I can stop worrying about this?"
6. Trust Yourself Life will go the way it goes. There is much we
cannot control. We cannot control the weather, other people or
even if parking will be available when we get to our
destination. Recognize that you can only control yourself and
the choices you make. Remind yourself that you are capable and
competent and that you only have the power to affect your life
to the extent it is possible to do so. If you cannot control a
situation, it does you no good to worry about it, so simply let
it go.
"Let it go" is a good overall motto to implement regarding
worry. When you notice you are worrying about things outside of
your control, let go of these thoughts and think about something
you can impact. Begin to say to yourself, "Don't worry about
it." Make that your mantra, and watch your worry disintegrate.
You’ll then discover more positive and powerful thoughts filling
your mind.
About Author :
Caterina Rando, MA, MCC, hellps people achieve success with
ease. She is author the award winning, national best-seller
"Learn to Power Think." To find out more about Caterina’s
coaching, keynotes, workshops, and other personal and
professional development tools, contact her at 415-668-4535
(email: cpr@caterinar.com), or visit her website at
http://www.caterinar.com.