When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much
attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and
how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.

The secret then to dealing with this problem is to become other
conscious.

If all you do is shift your focus from self to others you will
communicate better, perform better and become a far better
listener.

Another positive consequence is that other people will enjoy
spending time with you because it is so obvious you give them
your complete attention.

Your goal is to become so fascinated by other people that your
focus is on what they say, how they say it and why they say it.

6 Tips for Becoming Other Conscious:

1 Pay attention to the way people breathe, watch closely and
observe the relationship between breathing and speaking.

2 Listen not just to what people say but the way they say it. Pay
very close attention to speech patterns, changes in tempo,
volume and tone.

3 Ask thoughtful questions to understand the way others think.
Really strive to grasp why others think what they think.

4 Whenever your focus shifts back to the way you are behaving ask
yourself questions about the other person so you need to pay
attention to him e.g.

- What does he really mean by that?

- How does he manage to be so boring?

- How does she keep people so entranced with her words?

5 Use your imagination to change your mood and to keep your mind
too occupied to be self-conscious.

You could for example imagine that the people you are talking to
are wearing no clothes or inappropriate clothes. Why not have
some fun, feel good and still enjoy a good conversation?

You owe it to yourself to find as many ways as possible to feel
good. As I have said before excellent communication skills are
more dependant on your mental and emotional states than on clever
language patterns.

6 Use affirmations to condition a new belief about your ability
to be relaxed and other conscious. For example:

- I am fascinated by the way people talk
- I give my complete attention to whoever I talk to
- I am an excellent conversationalist
- I feel fantastic when I meet new people