As part of a workshop assignment, I was recently asked to identify 3 qualities that I would choose to model for others. Within a very few moments, I had my answer: compassion, respect, and wholeness. This reverberated with me so strongly that I soon realized that if I were able to live these three qualities to their fullest expression, I would be 'in' integrity with the essence of my being. These were the very heart of my core values and talked louder of who I am than anything I had come across before. Stronger than I can remember, they seem to answer the question of Who Am I? and Why am I here?

I soon experimented with some of my clients. Their answers included: (1) sharing, self-expression, intelligence; (2) dedication, loyalty, intelligence and (3) creativity, love, enthusiasm. All different. All extremely expressive of the individuals who chose them. In each case, the answers took just a few moments to come up with. In each case, the individual involved felt that this was the essence of who they were. They also felt energized and powerful.

This is one of those exciting discoveries that I want to share with everyone. No matter what you're struggling with, getting in touch with those three qualities seems to have the effect of lifting you above the situation. It lifts you up to a place where alternatives - choices - are visible. And once we're in choice, we stop being victims and claim the power to create the reality we want.

So, start with the question. What three qualities do you want to model for others? Once you've identified your three, write them down and post them prominently. Refer to them often. Go through your day seeking to express them each to their fullest. Pay attention to those activities that are most in harmony with those qualities. Notice when in the past you've most been in alignment with them. Do you get to express them in your work? In your family? Who can you express them around? And who not? Start noticing when all three get expressed together. For example, thinking about my three (compassion, respect, wholeness), I understood why I am so passionate about coaching. It is such a natural opportunity for me to get to express these core attributes - and myself.

I hope you'll try this simple exercise. Of course, this is one of those 'simple, but not easy' things. Identifying the three qualities is simple, but living them fully each day may be one of the most challenging endeavors you ever undertake.