18 Feb 2008 03:53:08 | Sam Vaknin
Pathological narcissism is an addiction to Narcissistic Supply,
the narcissist's drug of choice. It is, therefore, not
surprising that other addictive and reckless behaviours –
workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, pathological gambling,
compulsory shopping, or reckless driving – piggyback on this
primary dependence.
The narcissist – like other types of addicts – derives pleasure
from these exploits. But they also sustain and enhance his
grandiose fantasies as "unique", "superior", "entitled", and
"chosen". They place him above the laws and pressures of the
mundane and away from the humiliating and sobering demands of
reality. They render him the centre of attention – but also
place him in "splendid isolation" from the madding and inferior
crowd.
Such compulsory and wild pursuits provide a psychological
exoskeleton. They are a substitute to quotidian existence. They
afford the narcissist with an agenda, with timetables, goals,
and faux achievements. The narcissist – the adrenaline junkie –
feels that he is in control, alert, excited, and vital. He does
not regard his condition as dependence. The narcissist firmly
believes that he is in charge of his addiction, that he can quit
at will and on short notice.
The narcissist denies his cravings for fear of "losing face" and
subverting the flawless, perfect, immaculate, and omnipotent
image he projects. When caught red handed, the narcissist
underestimates, rationalises, or intellectualises his addictive
and reckless behaviours – converting them into an integral part
of his grandiose and fantastic False Self.
Thus, a drug abusing narcissist may claim to be conducting first
hand research for the benefit of humanity – or that his
substance abuse results in enhanced creativity and productivity.
The dependence of some narcissists becomes a way of life: busy
corporate executives, race car drivers, or professional gamblers
come to mind.
The narcissist's addictive behaviours take his mind off his
inherent limitations, inevitable failures, painful and
much-feared rejections, and the Grandiosity Gap – the abyss
between the image he projects (the False Self) and the injurious
truth. They relieve his anxiety and resolve the tension between
his unrealistic expectations and inflated self-image – and his
incommensurate achievements, position, status, recognition,
intelligence, wealth, and physique.
Thus, there is no point in treating the dependence and
recklessness of the narcissist without first treating the
underlying personality disorder. The narcissist's addictions
serve deeply ingrained emotional needs. They intermesh
seamlessly with the pathological structure of his disorganised
personality, with his character faults, and primitive defence
mechanisms.
Techniques such as "12 steps" may prove more efficacious in
treating the narcissist's grandiosity, rigidity, sense of
entitlement, exploitativeness, and lack of empathy. This is
because – as opposed to traditional treatment modalities – the
emphasis is on tackling the narcissist's psychological makeup,
rather than on behaviour modification.
The narcissist's overwhelming need to feel omnipotent and
superior can be co-opted in the therapeutic process. Overcoming
an addictive behaviour can be – truthfully – presented by the
therapist as a rare and impressive feat, worthy of the
narcissist's unique mettle.
Narcissists fall for these transparent pitches surprisingly
often. But this approach can backfire. Should the narcissist
relapse – an almost certain occurrence – he will feel ashamed to
admit his fallibility, need for emotional sustenance, and
impotence. He is likely to avoid treatment altogether and
convince himself that now, having succeeded once to get rid of
his addiction, he is self-sufficient and omniscient.
First published in my "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" Topic
Page on Suite 101
About Author :
Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism
Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He is
a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb
, a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business
Correspondent, and the editor of mental health and Central East
Europe categories in The Open Directory Bellaonline, and
Suite101 .