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08 Mar 2008 04:34:46 | By Kimberly Chastain , MS, LMFT
Whether we realize it or not we teach our children about money
every day. Sometimes we teach with words and sometimes with
actions. I’m sure at one time or another the following scenario
as happened to you or something close to it: “Mom, can we go buy
some toys?” You say, “We don’t have the money for that right
now.” Your children reply, “Just go to the ATM and get the
money.” You then make a comment to the effect, “There has to be
money in my account in order to get money from the ATM.” I still
remember the first time I had that conversation and my
children’s jaws dropped. It never occurred to them that you had
to have money in order to get money out of the ATM machine. They
just saw the ATM as the cash machine – Free money. Don’t we all
wish that was true!
Let me share with you another conversation we had in my house.
We were giving out allowances and we always give it to them in
change, so they can take their offering to church. My son said,
“Why, do we give money to church anyway?” My daughter quickly
piped up, “Because, the Bible tells us to.” She is accurate that
the Bible instructs us to give to church, but there is a better
explanation. (For the record, I don’t like using because the
Bible says so – we need to teach our children about the reasons
God gives us instructions and his promises in the Bible.) We
give money to church, because God owns everything anyway. All
that we have has been given to us from Him and he owns it all.
We are only giving a small portion back to thank Him for the
bounty he has given us. So, we give the church a praise offering
for what God has graciously given us.
Many people have different views about money. Some don’t want to
tell their children anything about how much they make and how
they pay bills. They don’t want their children to know that and
see that as private. Some people give their children way too
much information and then children worry if things are tight. I
think there is a middle ground. How are children going to learn
to spend money wisely if we don’t show them? I think it is
important for you to share with children how things were in the
lean years of your family. That maybe right now. Many children
today, when they become adults, want to start out where their
parents ended up. They don’t see all the difficult times that
led up to where their parents are now. Share with your children
in age appropriate ways how to spend and save money. Teach your
children how to compare prices and shop for a bargain. I have
seen many teenagers over the years and I’m amazed at when they
start spending their own money for clothing all the sudden
Wal-Mart doesn’t look so bad anymore, instead of the high priced
stores they want parents to spend their money.
In conclusion, what and how are you teaching your children about
money? Do they know that God is in control? Do they see you
giving to church? Do they even know how bills are paid? Maybe
you are saying, “I have been a poor manager of money, who am I
to teach them?” We are all learning and God is gracious to help
us when we make mistakes. He can help you know what to say and
how to teach your children about money. Ask God to help you
manage your money wisely and set a good example for your
children.
© 2005 Kimberly Chastain
About Author :
Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach
and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently
featured in the book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the
author of “Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!” To
schedule a free, initial coaching session send an email to
free@kimberlychastain.com or visit
http://www.christianworkingmom.com.
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