08 Mar 2008 12:28:06 | Timothy Ward
I bought a coloring book yesterday from Wal-Mart. I hadn't
colored in years and I got the strange urge to out of the blue.
I also bought a 24-pack of Crayola crayons. The box says they
are non-toxic which is a relief. I just wonder who sells the
toxic crayons and how they compare in price to the crayons I
bought. Some people may consider having a radioactive glow about
them the same color as the crayon they justed used to be a great
feature for which they would gladly pay extra.
The coloring book I bought is called Justice League to the
Rescue and it contains colorable pictures of all the Justice
League heroes like Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green
Lantern, and The Flash. My favorite is Batman. I've always
admired the darkness that hangs about him. Other superheroes
seem to happy and cheerful (even when supervillains are totally
destroying their towns) but not Batman- you can hear the
depression in his voice. I would vote Batman the 'CrimeFighter
You Would Most Likely Run Into At Your Shrink's Office. I'm
willing to bet that Batman has a few anti-depressants tucked
away in one of thse pouches on his BatBelt.
Since Batman is my favorite member of the Justice League I
started my coloring book rebirth with one of his pictures. I
colored his suit blue, his gloves and boots red, and the
underside of his cape indigo. I would have called it purple but
the side of the crayon said 'Indigo, Indigo, Indigo', apparently
because indigo is spelled the same way in English, Spanish and,
I believe, French. I'va always wondered why Crayola listed the
crayon colors on the side of their crayons in three different
languages. As I child it was very confusing to me because I
didn't know which listing was English and so up until about 10
years old I pronounced most of my colors in the Spanish tongue.
I still blame this for most of my academic failures in life,
that and the fact that all through middle and high school I
refused to take more than one book home at a time. Even if I had
homework in 4 classes I would only take one book home. Taking
more than one book home made you look like a complete losernerd,
or in my case, more of a complete losernerd.
I colored Batman's eyes and face yellow-green (verde amarillo,
vert-jaune) because I thought it would give him that money green
aura that I'm sure a gazillionaire like Bruce Wayne has about
him. Turns out I probably should have went with green-yellow
(amarillo verde, jaune-vert) because instead of 'money green'
the aura I got was 'ready-to-puke' which is probably the way he
really looks most of the time when you factor in all the tall
buildings Batman is constantly leaping from.
I was so satified with my picture when I finished coloring in
that I signed and dated it. Who knows, years from now when I
become a household name that picture may be worth a fortune. You
may see it on ebay going for thousands of dollars. Don't despair
if you can't afford to buy it-I've got a whole coloring book
here and a lot more crayons, I'm sure I can color something in
your price range. Tell you what, just for you, I'll even get rid
of the Crayola crayons and color a picture with a box of those
regular ol' toxic crayons. Then you'll not only get a Timothy
Ward original colored picture but you also get that great
radioactive glow...
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