25 Feb 2008 08:54:29 | Laura Bankston
Last night I watched a television show. It was rather hilarious
and disturbing at the same time.
I was actually talking to my mother when I first heard about it.
I called her to chat and she told me she was watching this show
called “Trading Spouses”. Isn’t that name terrible?
I couldn’t believe my Mom was watching such a thing.
But, after she told me about it, it sounded hilarious, so I
decided to check it out when it came on in my time zone (we have
a four hour time difference). And she was right, it was
hilarious. So, I watched it with my husband last night.
Now, I’m not a big reality show fan. So, I’ll get to the point
in a second.
So, anyway, last night’s show was about two husbands that traded
places. The one was a New York City lawyer who lived in
Manhattan – and he changed places with a low income worker who
lived in the country in Georgia.
(Okay, and just to clarify for those of you whose minds might be
going elsewhere – there was no hanky panky going on…)
So, you can imagine the difference in life style!
The country guy had his very first plane ride to get to New
York, and he was blown away by the speed of life. The rich man’s
kids were great; but his wife was a witch. Shocked that he was
never at a restaurant that required dressing up, bragging about
their beach home being worth $2-3 million, freaking out when
someone walked into the kitchen with sand on their shoes, and
nagging and pushing the son about getting his bar mitzvah speech
right – especially since the affair was costing about as much as
a wedding.
They city guy was in culture shock too. The house was run down
and messy; and the kids were NIGHTMARES! They were totally out
of control.
Unfortunately, I have seen kids that bad before in real life –
but it’s been awhile. They were hitting, fighting, ignoring
their mom, telling the man to “shut up” – can you believe it?
And this was good behavior in front of the television crew and
visitors? It was really awful.
So, here were two examples of BAD family relationships. A rich
family with kids that behaved - but they couldn’t enjoy their
family life because it was to much “go, go go” with a Mom that
was wound up so tight that she’d wring the enjoyment out of
everything. And a low income family with a family life – but one
that sucked because the Mom couldn’t stand to be around her kids.
Oh – and you know what the Mom said about her bratty kids? She
said that she “tried everything”. She tried sitting down and
talking with them, she tried taking away toys, she tried sitting
them in time-out. She tried it all, but nothing worked. Hmmmmm.
Seems she left out THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE! The controlled,
loving, whack across the caboose.
When are parents going to “get it” that loving, proper,
consistent discipline when they’re young means that they’ll be
controlled, loving, children that behave when they are 6, 7, and
up.
AND – children can’t be happy if they aren’t disciplined. You
can see it on their faces. Whiney, out-of-control children are
miserable. And so is everyone around them, for that matter.
When’s the last time that you’ve seen a miserable, well
disciplined child? You haven’t. I mean, there are a few moments
of bad attitude or whatever that quickly goes away with
correction; but they are basically happy, content, and secure.
So, anyway, back to my story.
Each family was getting $50,000 for the trade. But the catch was
that the visiting spouse made the decision of how the other
family would spend their $50,000. The rich man’s answer to fix
the low income family? Buy the house, remodel it – basically
improve material possessions.
The country man’s answer to fix the wealthy family? Family
relationship counseling, cooking lessons, and family vacation
time.
And you guessed it – the rich wife flipped out – she was
planning on using the $50,000 to pay for her son’s bar mitzvah!!
But, I’ll say one thing. The country man was right on for what
that family needed. Less focus on “things” and more focus on
“relationships”.
Actually, he was downright clever. He showed America the #1 way
to build family relationships…Cooking together.
Ahem. Ring a bell?
Cooking creates family bonds – across all ages – across all
abilities. Too bad the country man didn’t have more of that
wisdom to have disciplined kids too.
So, if you’re already ahead of the game with well behaved kids –
don’t forget about the relationship side of things. And don’t
overlook the easiest, most funnest ( he, he), I mean “fun” way
to spend time with you kids – COOKING!!!!
About Author :
Laura Bankston is author of “Homeschool Cooking in a Box” and
the “Homeschool Cookbook”. She currently home schools her three
children, maintains home school support websites, and manages
their family-owned service business. For information on her
curriculum and free home school support services, please visit
http://www.homeschoolcookbook.com