An Exercise in Advertising by LeAnn R. Ralph copyright: LeAnn R. Ralph 2006

I recently read an article about writing "ad copy" for your website. According to the author of the article, to achieve maximum success and to generate sales beyond your wildest dreams, you should use certain words in your ad copy that will compel people to buy your product or service. So I decided to give it a try. . .

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If you want to satisfy your curiosity about what it was like to grow up on a farm, read my books (Christmas in Dairyland (True Stories from a Wisconsin Farm) -- Give Me a Home Where the Dairy Cows Roam -- and Cream of the Crop (More True Stories from a Wisconsin Farm). Reading my books will help you exhibit your patriotism because what can be more patriotic than something All-American like a farm --- and like reading, for that matter?

Reading my books will also help cure your shyness about reading, if you feel shy about reading, because the stories are complete in and of themselves. You will definitely feel a sense of pride when you have successfully read all three books and have purchased a couple of dozen copies to give to your friends and relatives, who will be delighted with the surprise gift that they were not expecting.

Reading my books will cure your exhaustion after a hard day of work, too, because they are well-written and fun to read. The books also will restore your sense of optimism about the state of literature. My books do not contain any references to lust (except maybe if I mention the bull as he gazes longingly at the cows in the pasture). My books will also cure any sense of indifference or insecurity or sadness or anger or disgust or loneliness you might feel about the world -- or about reading books -- and they will ignite your passion for reading again.

Also, if you purchase copies of my books, you will be the envy of all of your friends and relatives, because you will have copies and they don't. At least, they won't have any copies until you -- with your strong sense of