Is Croquet a good courting or dating activity? In the eighteen-hundreds, youth in the British Empire and colonies used croquet as a means of courting. It was a chance for young men and young ladies to spend time together out on the playing field without their ever watchful and over protective bourgeois parents looking over their shoulders and observing everything they do and say. But is it still a good dating activity today? I thought so, until I played with “Mallet Girl.” I do not recall Mallet Girl’s real name, so I will just refer to her as Mallet Girl.

So, anyway, Mallet Girl and I went on a group date to a park to play some pleasant and casual American backyard poison croquet. Everything was going fine, until half way through the game when it was Mallet Girl’s turn to hit her ball. She was several wickets behind me and about thirty feet away. I was a safe distance from Mallet Girl, and I was in the lead, and thought that I did not have anything to worry about. The sun was shining brightly in the partly cloudy but mostly blue sky. A cool breeze rattled the leaves in the trees. Indeed, I was in a world of nearly perfect tranquility.

From my safe distance I calmly stood there peering out of the corner of my eye as Mallet Girl pulled her club back to take a swing. It looked more like a swing to hit a baseball than a croquet ball, or a drive swing in golf. Anyway, Mallet Girl swung at full force. Her ball went rolling across the grass as intended, but suddenly, and before I could react, yet in slow motion, I beheld the end of her mallet floating across the grass toward me. It was going so fast it traveled the entire thirty feet without losing any altitude. The end of her mallet streamlined toward me, a foot above the grass, slamming into my shin… Whack! leaving me scarcely enough time to jump.

Well, all I have to say is that Mallet Girl did leave an impression on me. For several days there was an indent and bruise on my shin. Although, Mallet Girl and I never went on a date again, I will never forget her. I can still see the end of her mallet hovering across the grass toward my shin, even today.

So, is croquet a good courting activity? You decide. Many girls would love a nice relaxing game of croquet out in the park. It is a good time or activity to just talk to someone while playing a friendly game. But, beware that the girl that you take is not “Mallet Girl,” or you may be in danger. Also, make sure the girl does not beat you, because it stinks to get beaten by girl… believe me, I know.