23 Feb 2008 09:20:29 | Deborah Harr
We see it all the time, and they are easily pegged in a room
full of people. The ALPHA!
It was most unexpected yesterday when I got to view this up
front, personal and far from comfortable.
A friend and their family were traveling for Christmas and asked
my daughter to go over to feed their dogs for the week until
they arrived back from the holiday. We both tend to spoil our
dogs; they are members of the family. They eat when we eat, go
where we go and get lots of love and attention each day. Leaving
these “attention hounds” at home for a week didn’t seem like a
very good idea to me. Silly me, suggested rather than my
daughter visiting them each day, it would be better to bring
them here for the week.
The dogs walk with our two daughters together all the time, so
they were not strangers and they all played well together. So
what could possibly be the harm in having four large, male dogs
at our home for the week?
The Alpha’s---that’s what.
Cadman-a purebred black lab, a follower and mine. He gave up
within his first week of joining our family of ever holding the
Alpha position and has gladly gone on to simply live each day
chasing birds and being a sniffer.
Moose –a mutt rescued from the pound. 145 pounds of Pyrenees
mix. In our home is 100% Alpha between the two. He is an anger
management dog. Moose gladly joined the family and promptly took
over the Alpha role.
Buddy –one of our visitors, an Australian Shepard/Blue Healer
mix. He is pure Alpha in his house, even though he is deaf. No
one is allowed to eat until he has selected the bowl he wants.
No one is allowed to go through a door until he has passed
through. No one is allowed to drink from his water dish ever,
PERIOD! Did I mention this Alpha is deaf?
Prince –one of our visitors, a purebred Australian Shepard. His
role in life is to tend to Buddy and his special needs due to
deafness.
Sadly, I discovered there is a difference between being on lead
and free-run of the home (which I knew would exist to some
extent). The two Alphas spend the day arguing out the top
position. It was most funny. If one would lie down—the other
Alpha would wait for them to get good and comfortable and then
challenge them for the position.
They each drink from the others water dish—looking at each other
as if smiling from ear to ear at how they could “take over” the
others territory.
We have two cats, which prior to this were members of the
household, quite ignored by the dogs. Our visitors also have a
resident cat, which is also ignored by the dogs. But no, you get
two Alphas together and the poor cats turn into “leadership
skills”. The cats win every time, but you could never tell that
to the two alphas.
The whole day was spent in ALPHA ARGUMENT with those two, while
Cadman and Prince had a most enjoyable day chasing each other or
catching balls. But the two Alphas spent the day “on the prowl”.
Puffing out their chests and proving their position as the
ALPHA.
No blood was shed and no wounds were inflicted. But both of them
spent their day in having to prove who they were and how they
were better than each other. Last night they all slept hard and
sound. I guess spending the day proving who you are wore them
down.
What about the other two? They slept curled up in a king size
booty bag together, happily, peacefully and most content.
We got up this morning and have found the Alphas had not figured
it out and in the past four hours have already worked themselves
up into a battled frenzy---the other two have eaten their
oatmeal and gone about playing with each other in joy.
Hmmm, is there a lesson here? Not that everyone should be a
follower because we all need a “leader”---but dang, does
everyone have to spend every waking moment of the day trying to
prove their ALPHA ROLE?
Find your place in what it is that you do. Perform your position
to the best of your ability and let all those “ALPHAS” feel the
heat and the burden to be on the top of the chain.
It was in watching these four boys interact yesterday that it
became clear. The Alphas are so worried about “losing their
power” that they never realized the joy in life around them
About Author :
Deborah Harr has been a motivational speaker and business coach
since 1986. Specializing in supporting new leaders and
professionals in making a successful transition from Corporate
Office to Home Office. “Anyone can become a success if they
dedicate themselves and apply a working system. To learn more
about Deborah visit http://www.nonipearls.com