23 Feb 2008 08:36:05 | Virginia Bola, PsyD
Looking for work is generally a miserable undertaking. No
matter how much education and experience you have, you are in a
powerless and vulnerable position.
You spend days preparing for an interview, trying to build up
your self-confidence, create a relaxed, competent demeanor to
disguise the turmoil and anxiety inside, and practice answers to
questions you hope the interviewer will ask.
Is there any way to feel really calm as you approach the
receptionist, uncomfortably aware that there are other people
waiting, perhaps applicants for the same position? Sit down,
take a deep breath, and listen to your inner voice.
Welcome the anxiety that is coursing through your veins. It is a
free, non-addictive stimulant that is going to keep you on your
toes and keep you hyper-alert throughout the interview. Remind
yourself that without that anxiety, you would present yourself
as lifeless and flat.
Remember the lists you have made: of your personal qualities,
your strengths, the weaknesses you have identified which can
really be presented as additional strengths. Let your mind
slowly scavenge through the mental picture of your resume and
pound those bullet-pointed skills into your skull.
Focus on your worth as a human being, your importance to those
who know you and love you. You are about to be judged by someone
who doesn't know you at all and who will have less than 60
minutes to assess your qualities. Self-preservation requires
that you don't buy into that judgment. You may, or you may not,
be offered be offered the position. Whatever the result, remind
yourself that it is not the entire you being accepted or
rejected, just your skills and qualities matched against a
company's needs. The job interview is a dynamic process with
everyone present involved in the flow. If you feel awkward or
very uneasy, it may be that the company or the interviewer(s)
are not a good fit for you and not being offered the job may, in
the long run, be a blessing in disguise.
By all means, review your interview performance afterwards while
it is still fresh in your mind. If you think of better ways you
could have answered some questions, write the new answers down
so you can review before your next interview. As soon as
possible, send a "Thank you" note, restating the personal
strengths you want to emphasize. If possible, e-mail or fax that
day.
The next two steps are critical to maintaining your enthusiasm
and job hunting energy:
a) Relax and let out the stress. Don't cross-examine every
question asked and every answer given or your confidence will
erode further in an avalanch of second-guessing and
self-criticism. You have enough stress on your plate right now
just worrying about whether or not you'll receive an offer.
b) Be kind to yourself. If you can afford it, take the family
out to dinner to celebrate your having obtained an interview and
having survived one of the most pressured experiences you will
ever undergo. If finances don't allow that, at least talk to
your family about the details, let them show you a little
support, and give yourself a whole day off from the job search
to relax, relax, relax.
About Author :
Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years,
developing innovative job search techniques for disabled
workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in
Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author
of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf
at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly
ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at
http://www.unemploymentblues.com