23 Feb 2008 04:36:41 | Deirdre Maigread McEachern
"Fortune befriends the bold." - John Dryden
I regularly work with clients on making major life changes in
line with a new definition of personal success. There are many
methods we use in this process: identifying values, removing
distractions, getting in touch with their inner wisdom, creating
a powerful vision, knowing their energy limits, etc. However,
one of the most important methods is often overlooked -- getting
what they need by asking for help when they need it.
Taking the time to seek help can be a real boost to your
productivity when going through change. It is very easy to waste
a lot of time going in circles trying to re-invent the wheel
without even realizing we are doing it. At first, it can feel
more efficient to do things by ourselves. But when the situation
is too big for us, this approach can eat up a huge chunk of our
time. Quick and easy sources of help are sometimes just a phone
call away or a simple email to a trusted source.
Isn't it funny, though, how asking for help is often our last
resort? It usually occurs at the end of the problem solving
process -- when we are frustrated and feel as if we have hit a
dead end. Instead, I would suggest starting any challenge by
asking, "do I need help with this?"
Many of us are so used to being the helpers to others that the
thought doesn't occur to us to reverse the roles and seek help
for ourselves.
Why not consider all of the available resources?
Some people avoid asking for help because they don't want to
"bother" others. If this sounds like you, do you remember the
last time someone asked you for help? Were you bothered?
Probably not. In fact, you might have even been flattered and
happy to contribute. Helping others feels good! Why not give
others the chance to feel good about contributing to you?
I once gave a client the assignment of accepting all the help
that was offered to her in one day. She was a successful small
business owner and she was not allowed to offer help to anyone
else for 24 hours (unless of course there was an emergency or
such). She spent the day allowing others to open doors, make
copies, and pick up the dishes after meals.
Her job was simply to acknowledge the help and express
gratitude. This was a very difficult assignment for an
independent person who was not used to recognizing all of the
help available to her in a given day! Through this exercise she
learned that she was much more accustomed to being a ‘help
provider' than a ‘help recipient.’ Try this yourself for one
day. You will quickly realize how much you do or do not accept
or ask for help from others in a typical day. It can be an eye
opening experience!
Chances are somebody somewhere has moved through the same
challenge you are facing right now. Reach out, call a friend! I
guarantee it will not only save you time, it will also help you
achieve your success more effectively.
I invite you to consider asking for help as a chance to express
your needs as well as an opportunity to brighten someone else's
day by allowing them to contribute to you.
So, what do you need?
About Author :
Deirdre Maigread McEachern is an experienced writer, speaker and
personal coach who works one-on-one to help her clients find
their ideal career and create more balance in their lives. You
can contact Deirdre at 207-439-4280, deirdre@vip-coaching.com or
sign up for her free e-newsletter at www.vip-coaching.com/news.