What is the secret of keeping your relationship going through thick and thin? Divorce was once a problem that was not heard of before many of us were born, and today, you can find some couples that have been married for 50 years or more. But, what is it that they have and had in the past that kept their relationships strong?

Too many couples run head long into a relationship head over heels in love only to hit a brick wall in a few months when their normal and every day life takes charge. You hear many couples say comments such as “He doesn’t listen”, “She is constantly nagging” and many other derogatory remarks about the love of their life.

The number one reason marriages do not last or even any relationship for that matter is lack of respect for one another. All of the remarks that we tell others about our spouse or lover should not be demeaning. We all have opinions and there are two sides to every story. You may say he is not listening, but when are you trying to talk with him? And are you trying to talk with him or at him? Maybe she is nagging, but have you been listening?

Communication is very important and when you communicate you will each learn to respect one another. Do not try to talk with your husband when he is busy reading the paper or watching television. Do not nag. If she is constantly asking you to do something for her and you never get around to it, she will begin to think that you are not listening to her. What maybe important to her, may not be as important to you. Talk with your wife and give her a specific time where you both can sit down and talk about why you forgot. You both should set a time each day to talk with one another about your day and anything that is on your mind. This way you both will be listening to one another and there will not be any nagging. Remember, respecting each other also means giving them the time to be alone, do things they enjoy without being nagged or degraded for activities they enjoy.

Finances always cause problems with couples. Sometimes, it is because you are having a hard time making ends meet or you may desire spending the money in different ways. It all boils down to communication once again. Sit down together and work out a budget where you both are happy. If you can not afford to buy a new boat and a new car, decide which is what you both want. Do you really need a new car or do you just not want to spend money on a boat? Talk about why you both feel the way you do and compromise.

Never having time to spend with each other because of work, children and normal every day life is another problem that causes couples to drift away from each other. This can be changed by planning just a few stolen minutes a day. Set the alarm clock an hour earlier once a week, so you both can spend an entire hour together before you have to get up and start your day. Ask a family member to watch the children and take a weekend off. Take a short trip and enjoy each others company. Call in sick one day and spend the entire day at home while the children are in school.

Any problem can be overcome to keep your relationship going strong just like when you first met, but it will take some work.

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