23 Feb 2008 03:21:20 | Johnette Duff
The f-word. Finances. Combining love and money may be the
biggest stumbling block on the path of true love, creating more
rifts in relationships than in-laws, drug and alcohol addiction,
or infidelity.
Financial power struggles challenge even the most solid
partnership. Unfortunately, money too often equates to control
in a relationship. The delicate balance of power between you is
dependent on the successful combination of love and money.
In the majority of relationships today, both members contribute
financial resources. Despite the strides women have made toward
financial equality on the job, though, men still have greater
earning power. In general, with more disposable income, men
invest more money and take greater risks than women. Women as a
whole are more conservative in their investments because it
takes them longer to earn the money. Money attitudes are also
influenced by age, family upbringing, religion, and each
person's own unique financial trials and errors.
Everyone has opened a bank account, paid the rent or mortgage,
kept the telephone and electricity turned on. When you make the
decision to share your life with someone, though, such mundane
issues suddenly become complicated.
Do you keep separate bank accounts or do you put all the money
in one account? How do you split monthly expenses? Do you each
pay a portion or do you pay bills out of a joint account? Should
you be able to sign on your partner's bank account? Did one of
you bring assets to the relationship that the other uses, such
as a car or a home, for which expenses should be shared?
Financial advice for couples over fifty varies significantly
depending on age, economic status and dependents. Every
situation is different, but the following is general advice for
everyone.
Many modern couples keep their finances separate, while others
opt to pool all their funds. Making the decision on the
day-to-day handling of what was formerly “his” and “her” money
can be a tough one.
There are benefits to keeping separate property funds separate
and maintaining certain assets in one name only, which we'll
explain in more detail in the next chapter. Keeping other monies
separate may create logistical problems, though, along with a
diminished sense of common goals for the future. Combining your
funds also gives a couple greater borrowing and investment
power.
Determining a financial plan that works might take months; many
couples struggle for years before reaching a balance. Defining
and discussing your money styles is the first step, setting
goals is the second.
Review your financial picture. Are you both satisfied with your
knowledge and control of “your” money and “our” money? Are you
both knowledgeable about banking, insurance, investments, credit
cards?
The routine business of a new life together should include the
following: Reevaluation of life, health, auto and other
insurance coverage A change of beneficiary on insurance
policies and company pension plans Notification to
social security of your marriage to ensure eligibility for your
spouse's benefits and change of W-4 withholding An
assessment of the impact of remarriage on alimony or
pension/retirement benefits from a prior marriage A
consultation with an accountant to learn the impact your marital
status will have on your federal or state income tax obligations
In a remarriage, be aware that the income of a new
spouse may impact eligibility for financial aid of college-age
children from a prior marriage.
You may need to consult your banker, your employer, your
insurance agent, your accountant, your attorney or other
professionals to accomplish these tasks.
Your goal in tying the fiscal knot is to protect your spousal
rights and save money. Begin your research before the wedding
and make sure you follow through.
Loveandthelaw.com should be your first stop - it’s an easy and
inexpensive way to stay informed.
About Author :
Johnette Duff is the author of The Spousal Equivalent Handbook:
a legal and financial guide to living together, The Marriage
Handbook: a legal and financial guide to your spousal rights,
and Love After 50: a legal and financial guide. Nationally, she
has appeared on Today, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning
and in various publications promoting information on love and
the law. Ms. Duff has recently opened a web site titled, love
and the law.