"I"d like to find a partner who dances. Do you?" my profile on Match.com asked. My now-husband Drew emailed that he was willing to take lessons, and that was enough for me. Non-dancer Drew’s courage to put himself out on the dance floor and to show in lesson after lesson his amateur status was truly impressive. We took private dance instruction for a year before our wedding, and as a result, got around the dance floor quite gracefully at our reception.

Women are dying to dance. Any man who can ask a woman to dance, then take charge of what happens on the floor and move relatively smoothly to music, has enormous appeal. Fat or skinny, short, tall, or not even close to attractive, even old, old, old, a man who is comfortable on the dance floor has his pick of the ladies.

For whatever the reason, dancing intoxicates. Especially women.

Few men can really dance, and those guys are on the floor constantly. Some men think they can dance and do get up, ask the ladies, and have fun. But at least half the men sit or stand uncomfortably on the sidelines with all the women who wish to be on the dance floor.

We women don"t get to dance nearly as much as we"d like to, even the ladies who are good dancers. There aren"t enough dancing men to go around. You can almost feel the yearning, the sadness, and the disappointment in those women and between those non-dancing couples. And the non-dancing guys? Pathetic.

I personally know three women close to my age who met their now - spouses on the dance floor, and those ladies were great catches! Gentlemen and ladies, there"s a message here.

Guys:

1. Take lessons and learn how to dance. Leading well takes skill, but if Drew could learn how, so can you.

2. Go to dances.

3. Ask women to dance. Lots of women. They"ll love it. Even if you aren"t so good, they"ll appreciate your efforts.

Dance lessons themselves are good places to meet women, and most dance studios have regular parties for their students to practice what they have learned.

Ladies:

1. Take dancing lessons yourself and learn how to follow. Here I was, 50 years old, thinking I loved to dance, and I had no idea how to do the woman"s part! Following takes skill! You have to figure out what your partner has in mind for you to do in a split second, and then actually do it, all while dancing backwards.

2. Buy yourself some real ballroom dancing shoes, maybe with high heels. Believe it or not, those shoes are comfortable. They have to be. Not only do they look very sexy, they stay on your feet!

3. Hang out at dances, too, if you like to dance. Single guys go to dances.

If you are connected to a dance studio, other single women will be at their parties as well as the studio instructors and male students, so you will know people. Dance parties are safe and comfortable for single women.

Guys -- nothing enhances as man"s romantic marketability more than becoming a decent dancer. Learning to dance is cost efficient and relatively painless. No surgery or blood loss, no sweaty hours at the gym, no personality makeovers needed. Just dance lessons.

What"s stopping you? Look up the dance studio nearest you and make that call! You"ll become a dancing babe magnet!

Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved