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18 Feb 2008 04:20:23 | By ADD Management Coach Jennifer Koretsky
Holidays have the potential to send an adult with Attention
Deficit Disorder (ADD) into overload. Too many details to plan,
kids to manage, and family to cope with can turn a good day into
a stressful one. The following suggestion can help adults manage
ADD during the holidays. 1. Know Your Own ADD and Plan Ahead to
Deal with It You know yourself better than anyone, so ask
yourself "How does my ADD affect me on the holidays?" Make a
list of all the things that tend to stress you out on the
holidays, and make a plan to deal with them. Do you tend to say
impulsive things that you later regret? Plan to take a deep
breath before answering questions, so that you can think about
your words before you speak them. Do hyper kids overwhelm? Plan
to excuse yourself and take a brief walk when the kids are so
noisy that you can't think straight. Does a family member really
make you mad when s/he starts nagging or becomes critical? Plan
a simple response that won't fuel the fire, like "I'm sorry you
feel that way. I'd rather talk about a great book I'm reading
right now." Do you get antsy after a long day? Plan to end the
day early, so that you don't reach the point of irritability. 2.
Don't Expect Perfection Accept that the day won't be perfect.
Nothing is! Whether you are hosting the holiday, going to a
friend or family member's, or visiting a restaurant, realize
that something is bound to go wrong. That's life. Don't hold it
against yourself, or the people around you. Whatever it is, do
your best to move on and let it go. 3. Ask For Help/Accept Help
If you're hosting the holiday, ask for help in the kitchen. This
is perfectly acceptable, and most people are happy to help out
where they can. If you're offered help, accept it with
gratitude! You don't have to do it all on your own. If you're a
guest, offer to take over a task that you're good at or don't
mind doing. That doesn't necessarily mean offering to cook or
serve, it can mean keeping the kids occupied! (Or, in my family,
keeping the dogs out of the kitchen!) 4. Remember That People Do
The Best They Can Long days with family members can often end in
frustration and hurt feelings. Try to remember that people do
the best they can with the skills and tools they have. Hurtful
comments probably aren't meant to be hurtful. If someone says
something to you that you find hurtful or offensive, ask
yourself "What is this person's intention?" The answer will most
likely be "to be helpful." Don't hold it against friends and
family members who may not have the necessary skills to express
themselves effectively. 5. Smile! Set the tone for those around
you by being positive, smiling often, and enjoying yourself!
© Copyright 2004
About Author :
Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who
helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She
offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and
private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media,
including The New York Times Magazine and The Times (UK). To
subscribe to Jennifer’s free email newsletter, The ADD
Management Guide, please visit
http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm
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