22 Feb 2008 07:37:04 | Maya Talisman Frost
One of the ironies of mindfulness is that it's still possible to
be forgetful, klutzy, or even distracted while doing our best to
pay attention. Why? We are choosing where to focus and so there
are, by necessity, bits of information that aren't getting the
full laser treatment. It's simply not possible to be mindful of
everything all at once.
That's the beauty of it.
You can shine your mental high beams on, say, fully connecting
with every person you talk to today. While being very aware of
your interactions with others, you might trip on the edge of the
carpet.
Clumsy and mindful may seem like strange bedfellows, but they
are intimate nonetheless.
True story: I know a reference librarian who was in the habit of
reading while walking. One day, she was walking the two blocks
to her house during her lunch break while reading a new book.
She was so completely focused on the words she was reading that
she tripped on the sidewalk, landing in a heap right there on
Ash Street.
Fortunately, this happened in front of the fire station, and the
paramedics came to her aid immediately. Unfortunately, in
addition to her badly-bruised ego, she broke not one but both
arms.
The book she was reading? "Coping With Attention Deficit
Disorder" You can't make up this stuff!
Mindfulness doesn't lend itself to multitasking-- especially
when we need to watch where we're going. One-track mindfulness
is ideal, but two tracks can work if one of them involves
repetitive physical activity. Breathing, washing dishes, eating,
walking, sweeping, swimming? Perfect. Tack on another--like
reading--and you'll end up stumbling, too.
Even if you've never done a faceplant on concrete, chances are
you've developed your own quirky mental editing tricks. We
choose our targets based on what we decide at that moment is
most meaningful. Your son might be totally immersed in playing
the guitar and forget all about his math homework. Your friend
might get caught up in a woodworking project and forget to call
you back. You might get so absorbed in a conversation with
someone at the grocery store that you forget to buy the bread
that was the reason for your trip.
Mindfulness helps us pay attention, but it doesn't make us
perfect. And that's perfect! It shows us our imperfections while
helping us become less judgmental about them. A hefty sense of
humor helps.
Use mindfulness to help you "step back" before tripping--on the
stories in your head, the swirl of emotions you feel, and the
chaos of your life. Develop the mental agility to step back,
step into and step out of your chosen focus.
You might remain klutzy. You may forget to buy bread. But you
won't end up tripping over what matters most.
About Author :
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse offering specialized
mindfulness training in Portland, Oregon. Trained in mediation
and conflict resolution, Maya uses real-world techniques and
humor to teach people how to pay attention. To subscribe to her
free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit
http://www.MindMasseuse.com.