"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." -Marcel Proust

The question of what I want has bubbled up frequently in recent weeks. I've explored many facets of wanting: wanting more, wanting less, wanting something different, wanting what I think I can't have, and the challenge of giving myself permission to want what I want.

In my estimation, here are the top eight reasons we don't give ourselves what we want. Hint, hint - this is all about social conditioning - or what you've absorbed from family, friends or "experts" about "the way things should be."

- You've lost touch with what you want and how you feel.

- You're not willing to admit what you want.

- You're afraid of what you want.

- What you want runs headlong into someone else's opposing desires or -- yikes!-- into their fear. This is an "outer critic" showing up.

- Your judgment or someone else's stops you in your tracks.

- Your "inner critic" rears its noisy head, and says "Are you crazy? You don't deserve that!"

- You don't see that you already have what you want.

- You simply can't give yourself permission to want it.

Here's what I'd like you to do right now: Take out a pen and paper and make a list of all that you want, both internally and externally. For example, a more internal desire might be inner peace or self-acceptance, while an external desire might be a fun new sofa or a fun new job. Write whatever comes to mind without any censoring. NO CENSORING. Include everything from wanting new socks to wanting to be more self-aware to wanting to be the President of the United States. Make it a stretch: If you can comfortably make a list of fifty desires, then make a list of sixty. If one hundred is a piece of cake, I challenge you to create a list of two hundred.

As you make your list, notice the following:

- How do you FEEL? Do you feel excited about certain desires? Guilty about others?

- What physical sensations do you feel? Does it feel like someone is tightening a noose around neck? Or do you feel like getting up to dance?

- As you write down each item, what words pop into your head? For example, do you hear gems such as "Oh, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" or "You can't have that! Who do you think you are? The Queen of Sheba?"

Now prioritize your list by picking your top ten desires. As you look the top ten over, ask yourself again how you feel? What voices do you hear in your head? What beliefs pop into your mind? Where do you notice your social conditioning showing up? How does your body feel? Do your top ten desires have a common theme? What did you just become aware of?

At the end of day, what we want is usually pretty simple and clear. It's our feelings and judgment that get in the way. The social conditioning that tells us that we must live a certain way, act a certain way and feel a certain way stops us from acknowledging truthfully that which we want deeply - our deep tissue desires.

How often do you give yourself what you want? How often do you neglect this part of yourself - the very call of your soul?