18 Feb 2008 04:16:31 | Bruce Taylor
b>Naming the Emotion
Bruce Taylor
copyright Unison
Coaching
Pretend that you're in a big meeting and your friend Alex
stands up and presents one of your ideas as his own - he has
stolen your work! You're hurt and furious, but you have to
swallow the emotions because you can't start screaming in front
of the whole meeting. How can you cope with negative emotions
like anger, fear, or disgust when you can't express them openly?
One approach is simply to name the emotion. When you start to
get upset stop for a moment and look at your own emotions, then
simply say their names to yourself. Your internal dialogue might
be:
"I feel angry at Alex for stealing my idea."
"I feel betrayed by the managers for believing him."
"I feel embarassed that I didn't see this coming."
It' not important whether the emotions are fair or deserved -
you just have to acknowlege them explicitly. Naming the emotions
will help take the edge off them by moving them from the realm
of pure feeling to a place where you can think about them and
set them aside for a while.
And then after the meeting, you can go tell Alex what a weasel
he is.
About Author :
Bruce Taylor is the owner and principal of Unison Coaching, and
helps people deal with difficult tasks and decisions in their
lives. Bruce specializes in helping workers cope with difficult
workplaces and stressful jobs. He can be reached at
bruce_taylor@unisoncoaching.com.
