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   The Art of Flattery - Beginner's Guide


22 Feb 2008 03:51:01
| Christine Akiteng


If you are not familiar with the rules of engagement flattery that creates attraction rather than "uneasy feeling" can be quite hard to pull off.

Here are some very basic guidelines for beginners:

1. Be charming about it

A wonderful combination of fun, laughter and playful affection makes anything that comes out of your mouth taste like nectar.

2. Be genuine

This is the difference between excessive insincere praise and good-natured flattery (see my articles section of my website: The Art Of Flattery - Using Flattery To Become More Attractive).

3. Start with the visual

The visual is a good place to start because it is obvious and most people put a lot of energy into how they look. Notice where the person has put some extra effort and acknowledge it. Even if there isn't much, what matters is that you noticed it.

4. Make it personal

Saying some flattering words about what one has done is effective but saying flattering words about the person (self) is even more effective. For example saying to him/her, "You are an amazing Doctor/Lawyer" is nice but saying, "I love your smile/sense of humour" will make his/her day. Just watch how he/she lights up!

5. Use short sentences

Going on a rant reduces the effect of the flattery and you might say some things that negate the effect you intended.. So use short sentences. A simple rule is to think of the kind of flattering statements you would most like to hear from someone else about you.

6. Take advantage of the surprise element

Saying "I love your smile" from the moment you meet him/her is a good way to start the date but saying it mid-date is powerful. When he/she least expects it, drop they dynamite!

7. Make eye-contact

Make sure your words are accompanied with direct eye contact and sincere smile. Show genuine interest.

Always keep in mind that flattery works best when the underlying motive is not to get something from it, but to make the other person feel good about him/herself which will in turn make you feel good about yourself. At this point anything can - and often does--happen!



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