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Our first experiences of a new culture can be deceptive. We think we know how the new culture varies from our own because we have observed the outward signs: the way people dress, the food they eat, the language, perhaps differences in the way they work or worship. Yet these surface differences are not the ones that cause real difficulty. It is the hidden attitudes that can cause us frustration or anger and that can lead us to misinterpret people's behaviour. Some of the basic cultural oppositions are outlined below.

Monochronic cultures are very time-oriented. People will be punctual, respect deadlines and resent any interruptions. They will set schedules and stick to them and they will be upset by lateness in others. In polychronic cultures, attitudes to time are very flexible. People are routinely late for meetings, they have flexible attitudes to working time, they don't mind if meetings are interrupted by phone calls or other people. They may not take deadlines very seriously and often will not be good at time management and forward planning, frequently leaving everything until the last minute.

Some cultures are essentially collectivist while others are highly individualistic. In collectivist cultures people expect to conform to the rules of the group; they will probably observe strict dress codes and they will see idiosyncratic behaviour as disruptive and anti-social. When decisions have to be made, then a committee will have the final say rather than one person. The individualistic culture is much more tolerant of eccentricity of all kinds and people are encouraged to take personal initiative.

If the culture is very hierarchic, people will be very conscious and respectful of status. In business dealings negotiating partners may wish only to negotiate with those they perceive to be at the top of the organisation. In contrast, flatter, more egalitarian cultures, are not deferential to people simply because of their social or company position. British culture is very hierarchical in comparison to, say, the USA or Australia. In Britain people use all sorts of titles to indicate where they stand on the social scale and certain groups of people, the royal family, for example, expect others to show deference by a giving a bow or a curtsy.

Some cultures are high context, by which we mean that messages are derived not so much from the words used but from all sorts of other signals such as body language, the way personal space is used, dress, the way a room or office is furnished, unspoken rules of behaviour. An example would be the old school tie in Britain. A man who wears his old school tie will be recognised by others who attended the same school and this recognition will entail all sorts of obligations on both sides. Only those within such a system can possible understand it. By contrast, in low context cultures messages are overt and clearly stated.

If you find yourself in a culture that is at the opposite end of the spectrum from you own, you may find it very hard to settle down and feel comfortable. By understanding these oppositions and by observing how they work, you can gradually begin to adapt to them and see them for what they are. I used to think that the unpunctuality of my French colleagues was very insulting, but I now accept that in the south of France attitudes are very polychronic and so being late by fifteen minutes or so is perfectly normal.